Rosewood Social Networking
by A Strange Audacity
Summary: When the citizens of Rosewood get Facebook, it proves to be a more effective - and more humorous - way for them to communicate. Well, except for Byron, who still can't type.
1. Between S2 and S3 Part 1

**Spencer Hastings, Hanna Marin, Aria Montgomery, **and **Emily Fields **are no longer friends with **Mona Vanderwaal.**

**Mona Vanderwaal **God, overreact much?

**Hanna Marin **Who's the one in the mental hospital?

**Jenna Marshall **is on Facebook

**Aria Montgomery **How…?

**Jenna Marshall **It's Facebook for the Blind, okay?

**Aria Montgomery **Really?

**Jenna Marshall **You don't need to know everything, Anita.

**Toby Cavanaugh **declined **Jenna Marshall**'s friend request.

**Spencer Hastings **likes this.

**Spencer Hastings **Smart boy.

**Jenna Marshall **is now friends with **Melissa Hastings **and **Mona Vanderwaal.**

**Emily Fields **That can't be good.

**Hanna Marin **One has a monster baby in her belly, one can't see, and the other's locked in the loony bin 'cause she's bat-shit crazy. How bad can it be?

**Spencer Hastings **Way to be politically correct, Han.

**Hanna Marin **No, I don't really follow politics. When Osama bin Laden was killed, I thought they were talking about the president.

**Spencer Hastings ** * rolls eyes *

**Ezra Fitz Aria Montgomery **Want to come over tonight?  
**Aria Montgomery **Yes! Seven work?

**Ezra Fitz **Sounds perfect. Love you!

**Aria Montgomery **I love you!

**Hanna Marin **You know, I think I liked you guys better when you were keeping quiet about this whole relationship thing.

**Spencer Hastings Toby Cavanaugh **Want to get together later and do something?

**Toby Cavanaugh **Movies tonight?

**Spencer Hastings **I'm in! It's been such a long time since we've had a real date.

**Hanna Marin **EW! More couple-y stuff.

**Emily Fields **Han, Caleb's in New York with his mom for the day – you're still in a couple. And I'm the one whose girlfriend just DIED!

**Hanna Marin** Oh, yeah. Sorry about that, Ems.

**Spencer Hastings **is in a relationship with **Toby Cavanaugh.**

**Aria Montgomery, Emily Fields, Hanna Marin, **and **5 others **like this.

**Toby Cavanaugh **Took you long enough!

**Spencer Hastings **I'm sorry! I've just been so busy lately – I haven't had time.

**Toby Cavanaugh **But you had time to get on FB yesterday and debate Ezra and Aria on what was the greatest literary classic of all time?

**Ezra Fitz **And I fully won!

**Spencer Hastings **Well, excuse me for not being a college English professor!

**Aria Montgomery **Yeah, isn't it a little weird that you have no one to discuss fine literature with except for two high school girls?

**Ezra Fitz **…

**A Aria Montgomery Emily Fields Hanna Marin Spencer Hastings **Friend me or DIE, bitches!

**Mona Vanderwaal **likes this

**Spencer Hastings ** * yawn * Who's faking it this time?

**Emily Fields **I don't know… It sounded pretty convincing! I mean, she DID use the word "bitches."

**Aria Montgomery **Yeah, and if she used it about three more times, it would have sounded like Mona.

**Caleb Rivers **God, I miss SO MUCH when I leave Rosewood.

**Hanna Marin **CALEB! I love you so much

**Spencer Hastings **Who's being couple-y now?

**Hanna Marin Caleb Rivers **Want to come over?

**Caleb Rivers **likes this

**Hanna Marin **and **Caleb Rivers **are busy right now.

**Emily Fields **TMI!

**Spencer Hastings **just won her field hockey tournament!

**Toby Cavanaugh, Melissa Hastings, Aria Montgomery, **and **Emily Fields** like this.

**Melissa Hastings Aria Montgomery **Where did you get that amazing frozen yogurt?

**Aria Montgomery **I really don't remember.

**Melissa Hastings **Oh. Damn.

**Melissa Hastings **doesn't think **Garret Reynolds **is guilty.

**Garret Reynolds **likes this.

**Spencer Hastings **Surprise, surprise.

**Jenna Marshall **You have Internet in jail?

**Garrett Reynolds **Well, I happen to know for a fact that Facebook for the Blind isn't real.

**Jenna Marshall **is no longer friends with **Garrett Reynolds. **

**Aria Montgomery **Took you long enough!

**Jenna Marshall **really wants to be in a relationship with **Toby Cavanaugh.**

**Toby Cavanaugh **NO!

**Spencer Hastings **Suck it, blind girl!

**Noel Kahn **Wait… so are we NOT going out anymore, Jenna?

**Garrett Reynolds **She switches guys really fast.

**Melissa Hastings **But that's not a problem, right, SWEETIE?

**Wren Kingston Spencer Hastings **Want to grab a cup of coffee sometime?

**Toby Cavanaugh **Is there a "dislike" button?

**Spencer Hastings **Wren, I have a boyfriend now… again.

**Wren Kingston **Fine. How about tea?

**Spencer Hastings **Old habits die hard, huh? ;-)

**Wren Kingston **Like getting crazy then crashing on my couch?

**Spencer Hastings **Well, that WAS fun…

**Toby Cavanaugh **DISLIKE!

**Toby Cavanaugh **is mad at **Spencer Hastings.**

**Wren Kingston **likes this.

**Spencer Hastings **I'm sorry!

**Toby Cavanaugh **You're going on a DATE with him!

**Spencer Hastings **It's just tea!

**Wren Kingston **Coffee.

**Spencer Hastings. **BOYFRIEND! I can cancel, Toby!

**Wren Kingston **No!

**Toby Cavanaugh **Perfect.

**Spencer Hastings **Now, if you gentlemen would excuse me, I think there's a movie I need to get to.

**Toby Cavanaugh **God, I love that girl.

**Wren Kingston **Shut it, carpenter.

**Aria Montgomery **Counting the minutes until seven…

**Ezra Fitz **likes this.

**Ezra Fitz **Scratch that – Ezra Fitz loves this!

**Byron Montgomery **Aria, I don't

**Byron Montgomery **approve of you

**Byron Montgomery **dating this man1111

**Aria Montgomery **Dad? What the hell are you doing on FB? And what's with the weird messages?

**Byron Montgomery **I keep acciden

**Byron Montgomery **tally posting these

**Byron Montgomery **before I actually

**Byron Montgomery **mean to

**Aria Montgomery **Maybe Facebook isn't the right place for you…

**Byron Montgomery** Well, I al

**Byron Montgomery **ways have my Twitter feed

**Aria Montgomery **Oh, God. Hey, it's six fifty! Gotta run!

**Emily Fields **is feeling lonely.

**Paige McCullers **Aw! Why?

**Emily Fields **All the girls have date nights except for me.

**Paige McCullers **Do you want to hang out?

**Emily Fields **You know what? That sounds really fun.

**Paige McCullers **Good! Do you want to meet at the Apple Rose Grille in half an hour?

**Emily Fields **Like… for a date?

**Paige McCullers **No! Just two friends hanging out.

**Emily Fields **Okay. I'm in.


	2. Between S2 and S3 Part 2

**A/N: Thank you all for the kind words! This is finals week for me, so I won't be writing very much, but I do have some chapters pre-written. After that, though, I don't know how much I'll be uploading – I'll try to as much as I can, though!**

**Emily Fields **and **Paige McCullers **are in a relationship.

**Hanna Marin, Aria Montgomery, Spencer Hastings, Toby Cavanaugh **and **157 others **like this.

**Sean Ackard **DUDE! HOT!

**Noel Kahn **Hey, if you two want to have a three-way anytime…

**Aria Montgomery **Shut it, Mongol.

**Noel Kahn **Mongol?

**Aria Montgomery **Kahn!

**Noel Kahn **I don't get it.

**Aria Montgomery ** * cough * IDIOT! * cough *

**Noel Kahn **Well, at least I don't sleep with the teacher.

**Sean Ackard **DUDE! She SLEPT with a TEACHER? HOT!

**Noel Kahn **Maybe we can get Aria for that three-way instead of Paige…

**Aria Montgomery **Or maybe you and Sean can just have a two-way.

**Sean Ackard **DUDE! Did she just totally diss us?

**Hanna Marin **is worn OUT.

**Caleb Rivers **likes this.

**Aria Montgomery **and **Ezra Fitz **are watching the Saturday morning cartoons together.

**Hanna Marin **Is that bookworm code for getting it on?

**Aria Montgomery **HANNA!

**Spencer Hastings Toby Cavanaugh **Still weirded out?

**Toby Cavanaugh **SO weirded out.

**Emily Fields **What happened?

**Spencer Hastings **We saw Jenna and Melissa talking last night… and Jenna didn't have her glasses on.

**Hanna Marin **Well, that's just because it was dark! She didn't NEED sunglasses! DUH! Sheesh, Spence, for someone so smart you can be kind of dumb. But at least you have me!

**Spencer Hastings **Yeah. Yeah, Han, you're ready to join Mensa.

**Hanna Marin **Wait! Isn't that table en Español? Are we eating at a Mexican restaurant? Because I've TOTALLY been craving a burrito lately.

**Spencer Hastings **Oh, Hanna... But on another topic, what about the sunglasses?

**Toby Cavanaugh **I don't know. She left them in her room, so it's not like she just slipped them off when she met Melissa.

**Jenna Marshall **You were SNOOPING in MY ROOM?

**Toby Cavanaugh **Oh, no…

**Jenna Marshall **is feeling murderous.

**Spencer Hastings **RIP Toby Cavanaugh. I loved you so much!

**Aria Montgomery **What did he do?

**Spencer Hastings **You didn't see that conversation?

**Aria Montgomery **No, I was busy talking to a bunch of teen sex addicts.

**Spencer Hastings **Do you mean Hanna and Caleb?

**Hanna Marin **is now friends with **Ashley Marin.**

**Emily Fields **Wow, Han! Being mature?

**Hanna Marin **She forced me to, or she said that I couldn't buy anything from Prada for a WEEK!

**Ashley Marin **I really had to pull out the big guns on that one.

**Kate Randall **is now friends with **Mona Vanderwaal.**

**Hanna Marin **What is this? The Evil We Hate Hanna Team of Doom?

**Mona Vanderwaal **Actually, we were going to be the We Hate Hanna Team. But I like the suggestion. Hey, the Radley's giving me the weekend out! Do you want to go shoe shopping, Han?

**Hanna Marin **Do you NOT get the fact that you ran over me with your car? And, more importantly, forced yourself to MAKE OUT with my BOYFRIEND?

**Emily Fields **is ready for swim season.

**Paige McCullers **likes this.

**Aria Montgomery **Em! It just wrapped up a month ago!

**Emily Fields **I know… I just miss it.

**Noel Kahn **It's just because she wants to get back in the pool with Paige… ;-)

**Aria Montgomery **Do we really need to have this conversation again, Genghis?

**Noel Kahn **I thought I was Mongol.

**Aria Montgomery **Oh, I could come up with a million nicknames for you based on your last name.

**Noel Kahn **That turns me on for some strange reason.

**Ezra Fitz **If I may interject?

**Aria Montgomery **Please do.

**Ezra Fitz **No fucking way, buddy.

**Spencer Hastings **is prepping for an Academic Decathlon contest.

**Veronica Hastings, Peter Hastings, **and **Melissa Hastings **like this.

**Toby Cavanaugh **Spence, you work too hard.

**Spencer Hastings **Toby? You're alive!

**Toby Cavanaugh **Barely.

**Jenna Marshall **If I had my way with him…

**Spencer Hastings **Too bad! So, what was up w/ the sunglasses?

**Jenna Marshall **My ears were getting itchy.

**Hanna Marin **I know, right? The new Guccis have something in them that makes mine itch, too.

**Spencer Hastings **Han!

**Hanna Marin **What?

**Caleb Rivers Hanna Marin **Want to come over tonight? I thought we could try to cook Chinese…

**Hanna Marin **likes this.

**Lucas Gottesman **Oh, God, please, no!

**Hanna Marin **Relax, Lucas. It won't be like when we cooked Italian.

**Caleb Rivers **Now THAT was an unexpected use for spaghetti.

**Lucas Gottesman **STOP IT! Don't make me relive that night!

**Spencer Hastings Aria Montgomery Hanna Marin Emily Fields **How about the four of us hang out tonight? Watch a movie, eat popcorn, mani/pedis… you know.

**Hanna Marin, Aria Montgomery **and **Emily Fields **like this.

**Emily Fields **So in!

**Aria Montgomery **Definitely. It'll be just like old times – well, before we got a psycho-stalker.

**Hanna Marin **I'll have to cancel with Caleb… but I'm coming!

**Aria Montgomery **I'm going to READ a BOOK instead of some of the stuff people post on here. Later!

**Ezra Fitz **Aw… and I was going to ask you out!

**Aria Montgomery **You were?

**Ezra Fitz **Must have been a short book.

**Aria Montgomery **Well, I was sticking around for just a few minutes…

**Ezra Fitz **So – tonight. Poetry reading. You in?

**Hanna Marin **Damn, you guys are boring! But, sorry, Fitz, it's a girls' night tonight.

**Caleb Rivers **What happened to making Chinese?

**Hanna Marin **Sorry! Some other time?

**Lucas Gottesman **This is the best news I've heard all day!

**Jason DiLaurentis **is sick of picking up debris from the fire.

**Toby Cavanaugh **likes this.

**Holden Strauss **is feeling beaten up.

**Aria Montgomery **Have you tried ice?

**Holden Strauss **AND heat.

**Ron Strauss **This isn't because you've been getting into any sketchy business, are you?

**Aria Montgomery **It's just because he fell out of his chair in history.

**Holden Strauss **Yeah, totally. Once a klutz, always a klutz!

**Ron Strauss **Sure. Just look out for that big, bad furniture, son.

**Spencer Hastings **is brewing a big pot of coffee.

**Toby Cavanaugh **Remind me not to come over for a week.

**Spencer Hastings **Why?

**Toby Cavanaugh **You. Coffee. Come on, Spence. You're good at math.

**Spencer Hastings **Ha, ha, very funny! But, seriously, I have five exams this week: AP Calculus, AP Russian History, AP Macroeconomics, AP Comp and Lang, and AP Chemistry. Also the Academic Decathlon on Tuesday, Math League on Thursday, and the last field hockey game of the season on Friday. I think that the coffee's appropriate.

**Hanna Marin **I wonder what it's like to be inside your mind sometimes, Spence.

**Toby Cavanaugh **Oh, I've thought about that before. It's scary.

**A/N: If you have any requests for storylines or episodes that you want this to happen during, please include it in the review! Once S3 premieres, I'll be working based on the new episodes, but until then, I'll need some material.**


	3. 2x23 and 2x24

**A/N: This one's set during Eye of the Beholder and If These Dolls Could Talk. Enjoy! **

**Jenna Marshall **is in a relationship with **Toby Cavanaugh.**

**Toby Cavanaugh **WHAT?

**Jenna Marshall **Oh… I thought what we did last night counted as being in a relationship.

**Toby Cavanaugh **Shut up, Jenna.

**Hanna Marin **REALLY misses her phone.

**Mona Vanderwaal** Aw, sweetie, we'll get you a new phone. After all, I need to be able to reach you at ALL times.

**Hanna Marin **God, Mona, you are SUCH an amazing friend!

**Mona Vanderwaal **I know!

**Spencer Hastings **is depressed. And lonely.

**Jenna Marshall **likes this.

**Emily Fields **Hey, if it makes you feel better, Maya's still missing.

**Spencer Hastings **Why would that make me feel better?

**Emily Fields **Because then we can be depressed and lonely together!

**Spencer Hastings **Lonely together is an oxymoron, Em. But thanks.

**Aria Montgomery Spencer Hastings Emily Fields Hanna Marin** What do you think about this whole Duncan thing with Vivian?

**Emily Fields **I think we really may have gotten in over our heads this time.

**Hanna Marin **No! If we back down now, we'll NEVER find out what Vivian was doing in Brookhaven. Duncan is our only way out!

**Spencer Hastings **I'm with Hanna on this one. Also, who names their kid Duncan Albert? Just curious…

**Duncan Albert **Percy and Genevieve Albert, actually.

**Spencer Hastings **Oh! Hi, Duncan!

**Wren Kingston Spencer Hastings **Do you want to maybe hang out later?

**Spencer Hastings **likes this

**Spencer Hastings **I'd love to, but I think I might have plans with Emily. Maybe another time?

**Wren Kingston** Sure, or we could just let the universe shove us in each other's tracks again…

**Spencer Hastings **We do seem to get kind of lucky there, don't we?

**Ezra Fitz **I REALLY need to get new refreshments for my office…

**Aria Montgomery, Ella Montgomery **and **49 others **like this.

**Aria Montgomery **What? Chocolate milk and apples didn't do it for some esteemed visitor? ;-)

**Ezra Fitz **It was your mother, actually.

**Aria Montgomery **Yeah, she's always kind of had a refined palette.

**Aria Montgomery **Wait, my _mother?_

**Aria Montgomery **never wants to fly in a plane again.

**Ella Montgomery **You were FLYING IN A PLANE?

**Aria Montgomery **No, I was kidding!

**Emily Fields Maya St. Germain **If you're hiding, PLEASE tell me where you are! I won't tell your parents – I just need to know.

**Jenna Marshall **is feeling burnt.

**Hanna Marin **and **Spencer Hastings **like this.

**Wren Kingston Spencer Hastings **So we DID run into each other!

**Spencer Hastings **And I very much appreciate you getting that glass out of my hand.

**Wren Kingston** Yeah, glass can start to hurt after a while…

•••

**Spencer Hastings** I'm going to need a lot of coffee to get _that _dream out of my mind…

**Aria Montgomery **We talked about this, remember? Coffee is never the answer.

**Spencer Hastings **But I want it!

**Emily Fields **Face it, Spence. You have a problem. A _coffee _problem.

**Mona Vanderwaal Hanna Marin **Han, I'm _so _excited for our sleepover tonight.

**Hanna Marin **likes this.

**Hanna Marin **Thank _God _you're coming over. I need someone to dish everything to – I know I can trust you with anything, Mona.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Of course, sweetie.

**Aria Montgomery **There's no better feeling than the one where your father is three states away.

**Ezra Fitz likes this**

**Toby Cavanaugh **actually feels bad for Jenna Marshall.

**Hanna Marin** So now newspapers are the answer to everything? Maybe if I had paid more attention to them all of these years I would have learned something.

**Ashley Marin, Aria Montgomery, Emily Fields, **and **Spencer Hastings **like this.

**Hanna Marin** Why so many likes?

**Spencer Hastings **It would be beneficial to you if you read so much as the writing on the cereal box, Han.

**Emily Fields **Who else isn't buying into Jenna's little sympathy plea?

**Aria Montgomery **Definitely not me. We need to keep on our toes when it comes to her.

**Spencer Hastings **I don't know, guys. I mean, it might be for real…

**Hanna Marin** You're only saying that because you think that being sympathetic to That Blind Thing might help to get you on Toby's good side again.

**Spencer Hastings **Is that a crime?

**Caleb Rivers **Ew. Ew. Ew, ew, ew.

**Hanna Marin** Look, I don't like it either, but you have to, okay? For me.

**Caleb Rivers **You know that I'd do anything for you, Hanna, but, I mean, EW.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Am I really _that _bad?

**Aria Montgomery **is furious.

**Ezra Fitz **Why?

**Aria Montgomery** _Boarding school._

**Ezra Fitz **Wait – are the teachers there hot, too? Because, if so, I object to you going.

**Aria Montgomery **Ezra! This isn't _funny._

**Spencer Hastings **Actually, his comment was kind of funny.

**Ezra Fitz **Thank you!

**Aria Montgomery **Argh.

**Emily Fields **never wants to go to a doll hospital again.

**Hanna Marin, Aria Montgomery, **and **Spencer Hastings **like this.

**Melissa Hastings **just added this to her hobbies:

Terrorizing my younger sister with vague threats and intense facial expressions.

**Spencer Hastings **What the hell?

**Hanna Marin **If I thought you were scary, Spence, that's nothing compared to your sister.

**Emily Fields **and **Aria Montgomery **like this.

**Spencer Hastings **For the last time, I am _not _scary!

**Spencer Hastings **Seriously, who thinks that I'm scary?

**Aria Montgomery, Hanna Marin, Emily Fields, Alex Santiago, Toby Cavanaugh, Melissa Hastings, Mona Vanderwaal, Caleb Rivers, Holden Strauss, Ezra Fitz **and **1,285 **others like this.

**Spencer Hastings **I'm scary…

**Ezra Fitz **just got fired…

**Byron Montgomery **likes this.

**Aria Montgomery **Is that really the kind of thing you want to post on Facebook?

**Ezra Fitz** It's about as close to prolific as I can become right now.

**Aria Montgomery **Wait, why are we FBing each other? I'm sitting right here in your apartment!

**Hanna Marin **Ooooh!

**Aria Montgomery** Shut up, Hanna.

**Garret Reynolds **is sitting outside of the Cavanaugh house and munching on popcorn.

**Spencer Hastings **Not to say that I _haven't _done this once or twice – have you seen Toby shirtless? – but you might as well do it inconspicuously. Like, not in that easily spotted car of yours.

**Garret Reynolds **Wait, so now you're dispensing advice on how to stalk effectively?

**Spencer Hastings **I'm sure it'll look good on my college applications.

**Aria Montgomery **!

**Ezra Fitz **likes this.

**A/N: Review if you like - or even if you didn't. But preferably if you like! :-P Again, I'm taking ideas for episodes that the chapters can be set during. My exams are coming up tomorrow, so I may not be posting for a little while.**


	4. 2x14

**A/N: This one, from a request, is set in 2x14, **_**Through Many Dangers, Toils, and Snares. **_**Sorry that it's shorter than usual; finals are draining, but I wanted to give you guys something. Enjoy!**

**Spencer Hastings **is _so _not up for two more weeks of community service.

**Aria Montgomery **Maybe you shouldn't have lunged at Emily like that!

**Hanna Marin **likes this.

**Emily Fields **is no longer friends with **Spencer Hastings.**

**Hanna Marin **What?

**Aria Montgomery **We're doing the 'Em and Spence hate each other' thing, remember?

**Hanna Marin **Yeah, but a FB defriending is, like, the ultimate mark of hate!

**Aria Montgomery **(sighs) Han, just go along with it…

**Garrett Reynolds **needs to re-equip his car with snacks.

**Spencer Hastings **And there's Rosewood's best-fed stalker…

**Tom Marin **changed his relationship status to: Married to **Isabel Marin**

**Kate Randall **likes this.

**Hanna Marin **Kiss-ass…

**Kate Randall **I'm some suck-up because I'm happy for my parents?

**Hanna Marin **They're not your parents, they're your mom and _my _father.

**Kate Randall **Is there a difference?

**Tom Marin **Hanna, Kate is such a nice girl. Why can't you be nice to her?

**Hanna Marin **You know what? I'm done with this conversation.

**Emily Fields **can swim again!

**Maya St. Germain, Hanna Marin, Pam Fields, **and **Aria Montgomery **like this.

**Spencer Hastings **Great, put the snake in the water.

**Emily Fields **Wait, I thought I defriended you. How can you still see my posts?

**Spencer Hastings **Oh, just go into your settings and make them private.

**Aria Montgomery **Not friends, remember?

**Spencer Hastings **Yeah, sure. Um, I hate you more than I hate A-minuses!

**Emily Fields **If you're going to insult me, at least make it believable, _bitch._

**Spencer Hastings **Now you just sound like A.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Ooh, who's A? She sounds like she's super-nice.

**Hanna Marin **No one, Mona!

**Ezra Fitz **is a little giddy…

**Aria Montgomery **likes this.

**Spencer Hastings **Did you get that Jane Austen collection that you bid on?

**Ezra Fitz **What? No! How did you even know about that?

**Spencer Hastings **Aria told me that you were desperate for it.

**Aria Montgomery **Yeah, okay, maybe I mentioned it…

**Ezra Fitz **We discussed this already! My love for Jane Austen is a complicated, trivial affair, and I'd rather you not share it with the world.

**Spencer Hastings **has to reorganize her binders because _someone _disheveled them.

**Emily Fields **likes this.

**Hanna Marin **Do you really have to post on Facebook about that?

**Spencer Hastings **Han, you post whenever a new song starts playing on your iPod.

**Hanna Marin **_Boyfriend, _JB. Squeal time!

**Spencer Hastings **My point exactly.

**Caleb Rivers **_More _Justin Bieber?

**Hanna Marin **Remember what we said about this?

**Caleb Rivers **Yeah, yeah. The Eleventh Commandment: Thou shall not defile the name of the Beaver Bieber.

**Hanna Marin **Good boy. Now, do you want to come over? I'm super-lonely.

**Emily Fields **I'm in the next room over… How are you lonely?

**Caleb Rivers **I'd love to. ; -D

**Hanna Marin** Caleb can keep me company in a way that you can't, Em, if you know what I mean.

**Emily Fields **Time to pull out the noise-cancelling headphones…

**Spencer Hastings **really wants that rocking chair…

**Toby Cavanaugh **Can we just talk?

**Spencer Hastings **This thing is just so far over your head. You need to stay out of it.

**Toby Cavanaugh **Oh, so know I can't understand your problems?

**Spencer Hastings **Even _I _don't understand my problems.

**Jackie Molina**'s evil stalker plans just got thwarted…

**Ezra Fitz **and **Aria Montgomery **like this.

**Hanna Marin **Oh, hey, you're that woman who Aria made the fake profile for and friended!

**Aria Montgomery **Yeah, just tell her everything, Han.

**Jackie Molina **Who's the evil stalker now?

**Ezra Fitz **No, I'm pretty sure it's still you.

**Ella Montgomery **is stunned.

**Spencer Hastings **Yeah, I'm not the one who was hooking up with the teacher, Mrs. M!

**Aria Montgomery **Sure, Spence, lighten the mood.

**Byron Montgomery **Aria, you

**Byron Montgomery **have disgraced the

**Byron Montgomery **family11111

**Hanna Marin **will never think about greenhouses the same way.

**Aria Montgomery, Emily Fields, **and **Spencer Hastings **like this.

**A **Wanted: One cell phone. Password-protected, blocked number. Don't dream of reading it. Give to the person in the black hoodie. You know where to find me.


	5. 2x25

**A/N: The idea to do a chapter during 2x25 was submitted by one of my personal favorite authors, Breedom2Be. I'm getting more and more visitors every chapter, and I'm so grateful to you guys! But my reviews have been declining despite the growing visitors, so please take the time to submit a quick review if you like. Enjoy!**

**Garret Reynolds **has moved to **The** **Rosewood Detention Center.**

**Melissa Hastings **I thought we weren't going to share this with the world, sweetie.

**Spencer Hastings **Sweetie? _Really?_

**Melissa Hastings **Hey, at least now I have one boyfriend who you won't steal from me.

**Garret Reynolds **What's wrong with me? I'm attractive, well-educated, and… well, you know, about to go on trial for murder. But whatever.

**Melissa Hastings **is now a fan of **Lucky Leon's Frozen Yogurt.**

**Emily Fields **Wait – Lucky Leon's only does cupcakes.

**Melissa Hastings** Nope, now they have a franchise a few blocks away that does frozen yogurt.

**Aria Montgomery **Yeah, I went there earlier. I got toffee. Unfortunately, due to certain _circumstances, _I wasn't able to finish it.

**Melissa Hastings **Thanks for that, sweetie!

**Aria Montgomery **(shudders)

**Hanna Marin **That was the most seriously I've ever heard anyone talk about hide-and-seek….

**Emily Fields **and **Aria Montgomery **like this.

**Mona Vanderwaal **is SO excited for the Masquerade Ball! For a lot of reasons…

**Hanna Marin **likes this.

**Hanna Marin **It's going to be amazing, Mon! I can't wait to see your costume.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Yeah… it will be exciting, won't it?

**Spencer Hastings Ezra Fitz **You have a really cute apartment.

**Ezra Fitz **Thanks! Wait… what? You were in my apartment?

**Spencer Hastings **All I'm saying is that it's really cute. I especially love that picture of you and Aria in the paper bags.

**Ezra Fitz **…

**The Lost Woods Resort **actually got some visitors! And our 24-year-old plumbing problem was fixed! Just be sure not to flush twice within a 3-day-long period.

**Hanna Marin **may never go in the shower again.

**Caleb Rivers **Wait, is it because of that thing I did the last time we were in it together?

**Hanna Marin **No! I… well, it's complicated.

**Caleb Rivers **So it _is _because of me.

**Spencer Hastings **I'm going to end this entirely unproductive argument and suggest that Hanna stops taking advantage of the free wi-fi, get in here, and help us!

**Hanna Marin **Okay….

**Toby Cavanaugh Anne Sullivan **So, back to what we were talking about earlier… Do you really think that it's going to be soon?

**Anne Sullivan **I've found that patients in states such as hers tend to crack under the slightest amount of pressure. If she doesn't confess soon, then I fear that I've diagnosed wrong.

**Toby Cavanaugh **I hope so. There's someone I need to straighten things out with once this is over.

**Anne Sullivan **Yeah, we all know that you're still in love with Spencer.

**Spencer Hastings **…Don't really know how to respond to that.

**Toby Cavanaugh **So why did you?

**Spencer Hastings **I don't know! Hanna's unworldliness seems to be rubbing off on me.

**Hanna Marin **Hey! But, on the bright side, I have a Romeo!

**Caleb Rivers **So why don't you dance with him?

**Hanna Marin **Keeping status up is important – even if it's only on Facebook.

**Caleb Rivers **So why don't you change your status to 'Dancing?'

**Hanna Marin **…Sounds fair.

**Spencer Hastings **To any suitors who might be interested about dancing at the ball with me (cough) Toby, if you're there (cough) then it'll be just a little bit. I'm going on a little road trip with Mona.

**Jenna Marshall **just saw a very interesting little bit of Rosewood romance.

**Toby Cavanaugh** Saw?

**Jenna Marshall **It's a figure of speech.

**Toby Cavanaugh **Really?

**Jenna Marshall **It's none of your business.

**Ezra Fitz **is now in a relationship with **Aria Montgomery.**

**Spencer Hastings, Hanna Marin, **and **Emily Fields **like this.

**Jackie Molina **Bitch…

**The Lost Woods Resort **is now serving lukewarm, sketchily-old tea!

**Spencer Hastings **And lucky me got to partake in it…

**Mona Vanderwaal **It could be worse, though, right? I mean, you could be about to drive down a long, winding road with a girl who has both an intense personality disorder and a burning hatred for you. Oh, and also a gun.

**Spencer Hastings **Yeah, but that's never going to happen.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Oh, just you wait.

**Spencer Hastings **What?

**Mona Vanderwaal **I mean, life is unpredictable, right?

**Spencer Hastings **I guess, yeah.

**Paige McCullers Emily Fields** You look lovely tonight, by the way. :-D

**Emily Fields **likes this.

**Emily Fields **But just friends, remember?

**Paige McCullers **Yeah, of course.

•••

**Hanna Marin** Oh, my God…

**Emily Fields, Spencer Hastings, **and **Aria Montgomery **like this.

**Spencer Hastings **She was right in front of us the whole time and we never saw it.

**Hanna Marin **How could Mona have tortured me like that?

**Anne Sullivan **Effects such as tormenting those closest to you are a typical, unsurprising result of personality disorders like Mona's.

**Hanna Marin **Yeah, I don't really care about all your psychological garb. I just need to know who I'm going to shop at Kate Spade with.

**Aria Montgomery **We'll go with you!

**Hanna Marin **If you had any fashion sense, that would be great.

**Aria Montgomery **I'm going to take that as a result of PTSD rather than an insult.

**Hanna Marin **Sorry, Aria…

**Emily Fields **is no longer in a relationship with **Maya St. Germain.**

**Paige McCullers **likes this.

**Toby Cavanaugh **is in a relationship with **Spencer Hastings. **

**Anne Sullivan, Emily Fields, Aria Montgomery, **and **Hanna Marin **like this.

**Anne Sullivan **Thank God… I had to hear about how much he missed her _every single day. _Who wants to hear people gripe about their problems like that all day long?

**Toby Cavanaugh **That's what you do for a living.

**Anne Sullivan **Sometimes I forget.

**A **Mona may be out of my game, but you can't forget about me, bitches. Sleep tight and live your pretty little lives for now, but rest assured that I'll be back and better than ever.

**A/N: I'm out of school for the summer, so I'm hoping to get a new chapter up just about every day. Don't forget to submit episodes for these chapters to be written during. Only 11 (almost 10!) days until June 5; can you guys wait?**


	6. 1x19

**A/N: This chapter's set during 1x19, A Person of Interest, as requested by RandomRandoms14 and poisonnwine. Don't forget to submit an episode that you'd like to see in this story in your review!**

**Caleb Rivers **and **Hanna Marin **are now in a relationship.

**Spencer Hastings, Hanna Marin, Aria Montgomery, **and **Emily Fields **like this.

**Aria Montgomery **Hanna! That's amazing!

**Spencer Hastings **Yeah, congratulations. That gives living together an even better twist… ;-)

**Garret Reynolds **is now working for the **Rosewood Police Force.**

**Emily Fields, Hanna Marin, Spencer Hastings, **and** Aria Montgomery** like this.

**Spencer Hastings **I'm just so glad that we _finally _have someone on our side.

**Hanna Marin **Yeah, it seems like everyone in this town turns out to have an evil side.

**Aria Montgomery **It's nice to know that Garrett's a good guy – one of the only.

**Paige McCullers **Just for the record, I _haven't _quit swim team, guys. I'm just going in the mornings.

**Emily Fields **You don't have to do this, Paige. If we could just talk…

**Paige McCullers **We have nothing to talk about. I'll see you at school tomorrow.

**Spencer Hastings Toby Cavanaugh **I don't know if I've ever been more suspicious of flute music in my life.

**Toby Cavanaugh **I know what you mean. This whole thing with Jenna and 214 is actually starting to scare me a little.

**Ashley Marin **is starting to get really annoyed at the sheer amount of grocery bills that she is now having.

**Hanna Marin **I'm a teenage girl, Mom! So what if I need more food?

**Ashley Marin** Before that boy started to hang around our house, you avoided food at all costs.

**Hanna Marin **I'm telling you, Caleb is a nice, innocent guy!

**Caleb Rivers **likes this.

**Aria Montgomery **For a blind girl, she manages to see a lot, it seems like.

**Spencer Hastings **and **Toby Cavanaugh **like this.

**Toby Cavanaugh **Now that I've seen Spencer on caffeine, I'm permanently scarred.

**Emily Fields, Hanna Marin, **and **Aria Montgomery **like this.

**Spencer Hastings **The neurological impact that coffee has on the human brain isn't unique to me!

**Toby Cavanaugh **Seriously, Spence, when you're hyped up like that… I'm kind of scared that you'll burst.

**Hanna Marin **is going rustic tonight!

**Caleb Rivers **likes this.

**Ashley Marin **Come home, sweetie, okay? We need to talk about this.

**Paige McCullers **is having an incredible night.

**Emily Fields **likes this.

**Emily Fields **I'm glad you talked me into this.

**Paige McCullers **Yeah, so am I.

**Toby Cavanaugh Spencer Hastings **So who's this A?

**Aria Montgomery **You told him about A?

**Spencer Hastings **I didn't tell _anyone; _you know how A is. Leaving notes everywhere.

**Toby Cavanaugh **Yeah, but you didn't answer my question.

**Spencer Hastings **Right now, I don't have the ability to answer your question.

**Hanna Marin **is really ticked off at her mother right now.

**Caleb Rivers **likes this.

**Spencer Hastings **and **Toby Cavanaugh **are in a relationship.

**Hanna Marin **Didn't see that one coming…

**Emily Fields** Aw, that's so cute!

**Caleb Rivers **has moved back into the Marin house.

**Hanna Marin **Yay! Want to come up to my room?

**Ashley Marin **At least wait until I'm out of the house, you two.

**Spencer Hastings **Great, the police hate me…. again.

**Darren Wilden **likes this.

**A **is happy to have gotten one Little Liar in trouble… now for the other three.

**A/N: Sorry it was so short! I'm going to try to have another one up in a few hours, if that's any consolation. Remember, reviews are much appreciated! Also, do any of you guys know of a (preferably long) really, really good PLL fic that I can get into? My ships are Spoby and Ezria, but I also love Haleb. If you know of one, just leave it in a review or PM me. Love you guys!**


	7. 2x06

**A/N: This chapter is set during 2x06, Never Letting Go, as suggested by .moonbeams. Enjoy!**

**Spencer Hastings **Ugh, I have so much more work to do for this stupid fashion show…. Why did I even sign up to run it?

**Veronica Hastings **Because the more volunteer work you do in high school, the better it'll look on your college applications, and if you don't get into an Ivy League, we're disowning you.

**Peter Hastings **and **Melissa Hastings **like this.

**Spencer Hastings **…That's reassuring.

**Jason DiLaurentis Aria Montgomery **So you won't say anything?

**Aria Montgomery **Of course not.

**Hanna Marin **…About what?

**Aria Montgomery **Nothing.

**Spencer Hastings Toby Cavanaugh **Can you walk me home every night?

**Toby Cavanaugh **likes this.

**Aria Montgomery **Why would Mrs. DiLaurentis want to talk to us?

**Emily Fields **With our luck, she'll probably be the latest one to accuse us of murdering Ali.

**Spencer Hastings **I didn't tell you guys earlier, but my dad was having a really… intense phone call with her earlier.

**Hanna Marin **Why didn't you tell us?

**Spencer Hastings **I've got three exams and a Quiz Bowl match to study for. I can't be on Facebook _all _of the time.

**Aria Montgomery **But you have time to be on right now?

**Spencer Hastings **I have a complicated schedule, okay?

**Emily Fields …**That was an awkward lunch.

**Hanna Marin **Yeah, what kind of a creeper would want us to wear her dead kid's dresses?

**Spencer Hastings **The dead kid was our best friend and that creeper is her mom, who happens to be in mourning!

**Hanna Marin **Yeah, and?

**Spencer Hastings **is seething.

**Toby Cavanaugh **Why this time?

**Spencer Hastings **Mona took over the fashion show and she's changing everything I did.

**Spencer Hastings **Wait, 'this time?' What does that mean?

**Toby Cavanaugh **You have an intense personality, that's all.

**Spencer Hastings **I don't disagree…

**Samara Cook Emily Fields **You looked stunning in those dresses.

**Emily Fields **likes this.

**Hanna Marin **Some people just don't realize that they're overstaying their welcome… On second thought, though, I wish I hadn't thrown out that Thai takeout. It smelled _so _good.

**Caleb Rivers **I can pick up Thai takeout for us if you want.

**Hanna Marin **Not a couple, remember?

**Caleb Rivers **I just had to give it a shot.

**Aria Montgomery **I'm two inches taller than Mona! How can she call me short?

**Hanna Marin **That's just the way Mon is. You'll get used to it, I think.

**Spencer Hastings **She's borderline evil. If I didn't know her well enough, I'd say that she's some psycho.

**Hanna Marin **Are you kidding? She's a total sweetie!

**Hanna Marin **If I wasn't scared already, now I'm terrified.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Yeah, who would want to mess with my fashion show like that?

**Spencer Hastings **_My _fashion show, you mean.

**Mona Vanderwaal **No, I don't mean. You were too busy being on the wrong side of the law to plan it.

**Spencer Hastings **I will kill her…

**Mona Vanderwaal **Not if I get to you first.

**Spencer Hastings **What?

**Mona Vanderwaal **Haha, just kidding, darling. Love you!

**Spencer Hastings **…Yeah.

**Emily Fields **is confused…

**Samara Cook **Why?

**Emily Fields **Not about you, that's for sure!

**A **just invested in a nice new pair of black boots! Guess the fashion craze inspired me.

**A/N: This one was short as well, so I'm thinking that I'll combine episodes together in chapters. What do you guys think about that? Anyway, thanks as always for reading and please leave a review!**


	8. Pilot

**A/N: I'm overwhelmed by all the positive response to this story. Really, 'grateful' doesn't even begin to sum up my feelings! If you don't mind an extra-long note, I'll explain the history behind this idea. **

**I've read lots of stories similar to this one in Glee, but none in **_**PLL. **_**One day in history, I was incredibly bored, so I pulled out one of my many notebooks and started writing the first chapter. I showed it to my best friend, Julia, who doesn't even watch the show, and she was laughing during the whole thing, so that gave me a little confidence boost.**

**I had an account on here a few years ago, but I was simply too busy for it. I kept writing a few chapters of **_**RSN **_**and finally I decided that I wanted to see if it was any good or not, so I reactivated my account, and I'm so, so happy that I did.**

**Anyway, this chapter is set during the pilot episode (as requested by name, msbookworm93, and onceuponaprettycastle). Don't forget to review and submit an epi for one to be set during if you like it!**

**Aria Montgomery **just updated her location to: Rosewood, Pennsylvania.

**Spencer Hastings **Wait – you're back?

**Hanna Marin **No, she just said that to confuse us. Of course she's back, Spencer!

**Aria Montgomery **Jeez, what happened to sweet, kind Hanna?

**Emily Fields **That attitude went down the drain a pretty long time ago.

**Hanna Marin **Not that it's a bad thing. Mona says that keeping one personality gets boring.

**Spencer Hastings **…So she has a personality disorder.

**Hanna Marin **What? No! That's ridiculous!

**Ezra Fitz **just checked in at **The Hollis Bar & Grille.**

**Aria Montgomery **just checked in at **The Hollis Bar & Grille.**

**Hanna Marin Mona Vanderwaal **We're getting good at pulling off these master heists, huh?

**Ashley Marin **What exactly do you mean by 'master heists?'

**Hanna Marin **Nothing.

**Ashley Marin **It didn't sound like nothing!

**Mona Vanderwaal **Mrs. Marin, she just means that we're finding so many Labor Day weekend sales that it's practically like we're stealing the stuff away.

**Ashley Marin **Ah. Thank you for the clarification, Mona.

**Hanna Marin Mona Vanderwaal **Who knew you were such a good liar?

**Aria Montgomery **Oh, God, that was awkward…

**Ezra Fitz **No getting on Facebook during class!

**Aria Montgomery **Oh, but you can?

**Ezra Fitz **I'll see you after class, Miss Montgomery.

**Aria Montgomery **Ooh, sounds like fun!

**Ezra Fitz **Can you maybe hide your excitement a little?

**Maya St. Germain **is now friends with **Emily Fields. **

**Spencer Hastings **is so ticked off right now…

**Wren Kingston **I quite apologize for the inconvenience with the barn, Spencer.

**Spencer Hastings **And now I have to forgive you, because even your Facebook posts sound like they're being said in that British accent of yours.

**Wren Kingston **What can I say? Everyone loves a charming Brit.

**Melissa Hastings **Including me, your _fiancée. _Now could you get in here and help me set up the TV?

**Wren Kingston **Of course, sweetie.

**Spencer Hastings **Whipped!

**A **is now on Facebook! Connect with A now to read their posts and updates.

**Emily Fields **To anyone who might have left a note in my locker: Very funny, but please don't continue.

**A **Oh, sweetie, why wouldn't I want to continue? You and your little friends deserve everything you have coming.

**Emily Fields **Alison? Is that _you? _

**A **If I told you who I was, then what fun would this little game be? No, I'm going to keep you and the other bitches on your toes.

**Mona Vanderwaal Hanna Marin **Can you come over tonight? I told my mom that I'd be studying for the pre-calc test, but how about we give each other quick pedis and then pretend like we're studying?

**Hanna Marin **I can't tonight.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Why not? Do you have somewhere better to be? Don't tell me that Sean's suddenly more important to you than I am.

**Hanna Marin **No, I'm not with Sean. It's complicated, okay?

**Mona Vanderwaal **Ooh, I like complicated. Spill the beans, Han!

**Hanna Marin **I can't.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Why not? All of your secrets are safe with me. You know that, right?

**Hanna Marin **Yeah, of course. Listen, I have to go. I'll see you at school tomorrow.

•••

**Emily Fields **I can't believe this.

**Aria Montgomery **I know. Just a few hours, I actually had hope that she was alive.

**Spencer Hastings **…And now we have concrete proof that she's gone forever.

**Hanna Marin **It's just so weird to think of never seeing Ali again.

**Aria Montgomery **I know! She was just one of those people who you couldn't imagine not having around.

**Emily Fields **I never expected having to live without her.

**Spencer Hastings **But now she's gone.

**Hanna Marin **Did you guys hear that her body was found under the gazebo?

**Emily Fields **That one that they were building the summer she disappeared?

**Aria Montgomery **That's gruesome to think about.

**Spencer Hastings **Who would do something like that?

•••

**Hanna Marin **That was officially the worst funeral I've ever been to.

**Aria Montgomery **How many have you been to?

**Hanna Marin **…Well, just the one, but that's not the point!

**Spencer Hastings **The last person I was expecting to show up there was Jenna, and there's no way I could _ever _trust Toby.

**Emily Fields **We've done too much that both of them know about…

**Aria Montgomery **Guys, I think that we're in way over our heads.

**Spencer Hastings, Hanna Marin, **and **Emily Fields **like this.

**A/N: This one was really fun for me to write, because the girls aren't super-close, but they still have that bond that links them together. I'm considering doing a few prequel ones before season 3 starts. Would you guys enjoy that? Please tell me! Anyway, thank you very much as always for reading, and please leave a review!**

**Also, in other news, I reached 1,000 visitors last chapter! Once I get my 50****th**** review (and that'll be soon), I think that I'll do something to celebrate. Any ideas? Maybe if one of you guys has a really fabulous suggestion for something I can do, I'll make a little contest?**

**Love you all! Enjoy Memorial Day!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: 50 REVIEWS! Actually, to be more literal, 60 REVIEWS! Seriously, if you guys could see me right now, I'd be grinning from ear to ear. I love you so much! **

**Okay, I think that's my exclamation mark limit for the day. Anyway, the first part of this chapter is set during 1x09, **_**The Perfect Storm, **_**as requested by anon, purpleffreak, xlongliveyourdreamsx, and ezrialover. It turned out a little short, so I'm putting two epis in one chapter, and I'll talk about the second one after this first part.**

**Spencer Hastings **is cramming for the SATs…

**Melissa Hastings, Veronica Hastings, **and **Peter Hastings **like this.

**Veronica Hastings **Remember, honey, it's not possible to study too much.

**Peter Hastings **That's right. Even if you feel like your brain's going to explode, just keep plowing through it.

**Melissa Hastings **Yeah, and remember – you'll never do as well as I did, but you can always try to live up to me!

**Spencer Hastings **Thanks for all the advice… I think.

**Spencer Hastings Alex Santiago **So what was up with you and my mom earlier?

**Alex Santiago **Nothing happened, Spence.

**Spencer Hastings **So why are you avoiding me?

**Alex Santiago **I'm not avoiding you – I just responded to your post!

**Spencer Hastings **Yeah, and we all know that's the same thing as talking in real life.

**Mona Vanderwaal **I don't even know why some _people_ have to be in the same room as me. Like, can't they open a school for the ugly, pathetic losers and keep me totally away from them? I mean, come on. I'm just way better than these dweebs.

**Hanna Marin **I'm telling you, Lucas is a nice guy!

**Mona Vanderwaal **If being nice is defined as sitting around in the basement watching Star Wars while he plays with both his guy _and _girl parts, then yeah, he's freaking Mother Teresa.

**Hanna Marin **Why are you being so awful?

**Mona Vanderwaal **Hey, you're being the same way!

**Hanna Marin **What the hell do you mean? I'm an angel compared to you.

**Mona Vanderwaal **I mean that ever since you started to hang out with your old friends, you've been ignoring me. You're such a _bitch!_

**Hanna Marin **You know what? Maybe we both need a little space.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Try a _lot _of space.

**Emily Fields **Why would someone want to trash Ali's memorial?

**Aria Montgomery **I don't get it. If they wanted to send that message, why would they put themselves in the position that they did?

**Spencer Hastings **Because now the whole town hates them _and _they could easily be charged for vandalism.

**Hanna Marin **Plus, it was just plain mean.

**Ella Montgomery Aria Montgomery **When are you going to come visit me in my new apartment, sweetie? I miss you!

**Aria Montgomery **Soon, Mom, I promise.

**Byron Montgomery **Aria, I think

**Byron Montgomery **that you should

**Byron Montgomery **visit your mom because

**Byron Montgomery **we're out of

**Byron Montgomery **groceries and I

**Byron Montgomery **really don't want Sausage

**Byron Montgomery **King again11111

**Ezra Fitz **Just a notice to all students: Please stay in the _library _rather than any side rooms - and don't forget Rosewood High's policy on PDA.

**Aria Montgomery **Look, I'm sorry, okay? It won't happen again.

**Ezra Fitz **So long as you abide by the rules, everything's alright, Miss Montgomery.

**Noel Kahn **and **Aria Montgomery **are in a relationship.

**Spencer Hastings, Hanna Marin, Emily Fields, Mike Montgomery, Sean Ackard, **and **Ben Coogan **like this.

**Sean Ackard **DUDE! Nice! She's, like, almost an 8!

**Aria Montgomery **Excuse me?

**Spencer Hastings **Wait, where did Em go?

**Hanna Marin **She was in here a minute ago!

**Aria Montgomery **I saw Wilden in the hallway… is she being questioned again?

**Spencer Hastings **I don't know, but I think we should go look for her.

**Aria Montgomery **and **Hanna Marin **like this.

**Hanna Marin **Em, you know that we love you, right? We would never think that you'd murder Ali. That's crazy.

**Aria Montgomery **Yeah, Wilden is just kidding himself if he thinks that you'd actually do that.

**Spencer Hastings **It's actually a common phenomenon when murders or other big cases are being investigated. Want me to explain?

**Hanna Marin **No, I really, really don't need your smart-person talk to confuse me.

•••

**A/N: This part is set during 1x13, **_**Know Your Frenemies, **_**as requested by msbookworm93. **

**Spencer Hastings **It's one thing to be scared of some terrorists who live thousands of miles away. It's another thing to be scared of someone who lives in your town. It's a whole other thing to be scared of your own sister and brother-in-law.

**Mike Montgomery **God, why do people have to be so _stupid _sometimes?

**Aria Montgomery **Is this because Dad said that Mom's dating again?

**Mike Montgomery **Why should you care?

**Aria Montgomery **You knew that she was going to have to move on sooner or later, Mike.

**Mike Montgomery **Yeah, I just didn't want it to be sooner.

**Emily Fields Spencer Hastings **You do a _really _good Southern accent, surprisingly enough.

**Melissa Hastings **Why did you have to do a Southern accent, Spence?

**Spencer Hastings **No reason!

**Melissa Hastings **Okay then…

**Emily Fields Maya St. Germain **So you're going to come over and study tonight?

**Maya St. Germain **Of course! I wouldn't miss it for the world.

**Pam Fields **Now, by studying, you girls do mean actual studying, right? Not… whatever it is you do?

**Emily Fields **Yes, Mom, we'll actually be studying.

**Noel Kahn **You know, I've always heard about teachers being untrustworthy. I just never thought that it would happen in Rosewood.

**Hanna Marin **Why couldn't A have made it muffins instead of cupcakes? Geez.

**Emily Fields **I can't believe that Toby's back…

**Spencer Hastings **We're going to stay far away from him, okay? None of us can afford getting close to someone like that.

**Aria Montgomery **Relax, Spence! It's not like any of us are going to start dating him or something.

**Hanna Marin **Well, we know that _you _aren't. ;-)

**Pam Fields **It infuriates me how some teenagers think that they're above the law.

**Emily Fields **…Being lesbian isn't against the law.

**Pam Fields **Not that. It seems that your friend Maya has been getting up to some highly illegal – as well as unhealthy – activity with drugs.

**Aria Montgomery **I can't believe this.

**Ezra Fitz **It's for the best, okay? No one can hurt us if I'm not in Rosewood.

**Aria Montgomery **I'm just going to miss you.

**Spencer Hastings **I swear, if Melissa and Ian have a baby, I am _not _babysitting for that thing.

**Noel Kahn **Yeah, the rumors are true - I'm suspended. But I'll still throw awesome parties _with _photo booths!

**Emily Fields Maya St. Germain **That was awesome…

**A **For once, I'm actually helping the police! Looks like four little liars might be getting their helping of justice with my assistance. Kisses to everyone!

**A/N: Thank you as always for reading and please leave a review! Also, I'm trying as hard as I can to finish all the episode requests (and do keep those coming – I have a good number of duplicates) but I'm doing them in chronological order so that everyone gets their requests filled, so please don't send in a request that you've sent in before.**

**Love you all!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Wow – ten chapters. I absolutely never expected this. It's because of you guys, so thank you for your constant support! This chapter even includes a guest appearance by none other than me, so you're especially lucky.**

**The first part of this chapter is set during 1x06, **_**There's No Place Like Homecoming, **_**as requested by Payton Cruz.**

**Aria Montgomery **If anyone wants to talk to be, I'm holed up in my room and I'm not leaving. Ever.

**A **Aw, did somebody's boytoy leave and decide that he's better off without her? Sorry sweetie, but he's never coming back. At least you always have me to keep you company. I'll never leave you, darling!

**Aria Montgomery **Not helping!

**A **Who said I wanted to?

**Hanna Marin **Okay, first of all, A, you're a bitch. Go fuck yourself or something. Aria, you're better than this. Get out of your sweats so that you can try on dresses with the rest of us! On another note, don't ever come to a Real Love Waits meeting. This sucks.

**Sean Ackard **But babe, it helps us to understand each other more!

**Hanna Marin **Yeah, but the only thing I understand more about you now is that you like to hang out with the sort of people who could never get laid, and that is _not _voluntary.

**Real Love Waits **We are an organization for those who don't want to give their Precious Flower away before marriage. Is that a problem?

**Hanna Marin **Thing is, you just made it a million times worse by calling virginity a "Precious Flower." Please don't tell me that you expect anyone to take you seriously.

**Real Love Waits **…

**Emily Fields Maya St. Germain **So you're really not going to homecoming?

**Maya St. Germain **I don't know why I should; no one would be interested in going with me.

**Emily Fields **I'm sure there would be lots of people who would want to go with you.

**Maya St. Germain **Yeah, but they wouldn't be the right people.

**Spencer Hastings **is itching to get her hands on a file…

**Hanna Marin **I'll try, okay? There are so many people around when I'm working, it's hard to sneak into the therapist.

**Spencer Hastings **So go in at night, when all of them are gone.

**Hanna Marin **Sure, because that'll be easy to explain to the authorities when they pick me up for sneaking in after hours.

**Spencer Hastings **Since when are you the logical one? But whatever. I'm so excited for homecoming!

**Hanna Marin **Ooh, is the new BF getting you pumped?

**Spencer Hastings **Fully.

**Hanna Marin **Yay! Aria's getting me down about the whole thing; I'm glad that _someone _wants to go! And vote for me, of course. You are voting for me, right?

**Spencer Hastings **No, I'm voting for Naomi Ziegler.

**Hanna Marin **WHAT? You're going to vote for that bitch? This one time, I asked her to grab me a no-fat froyo, but the one she got me was full-fat, I swear! Why would you vote for _her?_

**Spencer Hastings **I was kidding! Of course I'll vote for you, Han.

**Hanna Marin **Oh. It wasn't very funny.

**Spencer Hastings **Actually, yes. It was hilarious!

**Melissa Hastings **is sooo happy to be back at Rosewood High!

**Spencer Hastings **And I _sooo _think that people who graduate should stay away from it!

**Melissa Hastings **Spence, maybe you should spend a little less time being snide to me and a little more time with your date. Where is he, anyway?

**Spencer Hastings **He was right here…. Okay, I'm going to kick this FB addiction right now and go find Alex!

**A Strange Audacity **Haha, good luck with that!

**Spencer Hastings **Who is this?

**A Strange Audacity **No one! A! Marlene King! I don't know! I'm going away now…

**Aria Montgomery **I can't believe that Toby showed up with Emily.

**Spencer Hastings **Right? I never thought that he'd land a date with a girl, much less a real one.

**Hanna Marin **Okay, the eagle has landed.

**Emily Fields **What are you talking about?

**Hanna Marin **I'm in the office.

**Emily Fields **So just say, "I'm in the office."

**Hanna Marin **So I thought I'd save a little time!

**Ezra Fitz **Chaperoning high school dances is _not _my first choice of a weekend activity.

**Aria Montgomery **You know that I didn't mean it.

**Ezra Fitz **Regardless, I'm leaving Rosewood.

**Aria Montgomery **Please don't! What am I going to do without you?

**Ezra Fitz **That's not my problem, is it?

**Aria Montgomery **You could stay – we could find a way to be happy.

**Ezra Fitz **I don't see a way that could happen. Not anytime soon.

**Sean Ackard **There's nothing more fun than being crowned homecoming king without a date.

**Hanna Marin **Look, I'm sorry! I just had something important to do.

**Sean Ackard **More important than homecoming, which is all you've been talking about since school started?

**Hanna Marin **It's complicated.

**A **What homecoming fun! Aria, Spencer, and Hanna can't bother to hang onto their boys, but Emily can't even bring herself to like them – and now she and the nosy little bitches have gotten themselves into a _lot _of trouble with one Toby Cavanaugh. Who knew school dances could be this great? Mwah, darlings – until next time!

•••

**A/N: This second part is set during 2x11, **_**I Must Confess, **_**as requested by .moonbeams. Enjoy!**

**Hanna Marin **Where's Em? She knows that I can't watch my morning MTV alone!

**Spencer Hastings **Really. Emily's missing, we have a dangerous stalker on the loose, and the only thing you're worried about is MTV?

**Hanna Marin **What can I say? I have my priorities _very _straight.

**Aria Montgomery **I can't believe that we told her.

**Hanna Marin, Emily Fields **and **Spencer Hastings **like this.

**Emily Fields** Opening up to someone was different than I expected.

**Spencer Hastings **It feels really good, but at the same time, I feel like I need to look over my shoulder, you know?

**Hanna Marin **Like we put Dr. Sullivan in danger. That's exactly what I'm thinking.

**Aria Montgomery **But everyone's going to be safe, because even A can't reach us in her office.

**Toby Cavanaugh Spencer Hastings **Can we meet up soon? I saw something while I was working at your house earlier – something with Jenna and Garrett – and I need to talk to you about it.

**Spencer Hastings **Of course! Can you drive me to school?

**Toby Cavanaugh **Sure. I'll be there in a few minutes.

**Ashley Marin **is in a great mood, because there's nothing more fun than having your ex-mother-in-law stay over.

**Emily Fields **Sheesh. School assemblies haven't always been fun, but that bordered on the traumatic.

**Spencer Hastings, Aria Montgomery, **and **Hanna Marin **like this.

**Hanna Marin **So maybe this rehearsal dinner won't be the worst thing in the world…

**Kate Randall **likes this.

**Kate Randall **So we'll get a little silly and write an _awesome _toast. After all, they can't want us to be miserable!

**Hanna Marin **That's right – here's to bonding!

**Maya St. Germain Emily Fields **It was really good to see you tonight.

**Emily Fields **likes this.

**Peter Hastings **If anyone has the audacity to stand up to me, they should at least put a shirt on first!

**Spencer Hastings **Come on, Dad. Have you _seen _his abs?

**Hanna Marin **Okay, so maybe that rehearsal brother _did _turn out to be the worst thing in the world.

**A **Ta-ta, Dr. Sullivan! It was a fun ride that we had together, but you can't be friends with me _and _those little liars. See ya next time!

**A/N: Wow – ten chapters! Still in awe. To celebrate, I want to hear **_**your **_**theories on who the Master A is (or who was in the red coat) and I'll feature one of my favorites every chapter for the next few chapters. Sound good?**


	11. The First Secret

**A/N: The idea for a chapter set during **_**The First Secret **_**was submitted by TotalCowGirl, but I just loved it too much to wait for the normal order to write it. :-D Enjoy!**

**Alison DiLaurentis **Who says that babysitting can't be fun?

**Hanna Marin **Ali, that wasn't fun. It was terrifying!

**Alison DiLaurentis **God, Hanna, why can't you grow up? You are such a _baby _sometimes.

**Hanna Marin **Sorry, Ali… But don't you think I'll make a cute Britney?

**Alison DiLaurentis **If you haven't noticed by now, Brit has a great body. Like, zero fat. Maybe you should work on that first.

**Emily Fields **Well, what about me? Do you think my costume will be okay?

**Alison DiLaurentis **You'll rock it, Em. You look cute in everything.

**Emily Fields **Thanks! You don't know how great that is to hear.

**Alison DiLaurentis **Yeah, I think I do.

**Spencer Hastings **The election is going really well! I got all of the Mathletes to vote for me.

**Alison DiLaurentis **Ooh, combined with them, the debate team, and the Mock UN, you've got all of the nerd vote!

**Spencer Hastings **Thanks?

**Alison DiLaurentis **Of course, sweetie.

**Noel Kahn **The invitations have been distributed. Don't forget that there's a costume contest for individuals and groups – this is one hardcore party!

**Alison DiLaurentis **Don't flatter yourself, Noel. Everyone knows that I throw the best party of anyone around here.

**Noel Kahn **Tall worlds coming from the girl who comes to each one of my parties, even the private ones I throw in my hot tub. ;-)

**Aria Montgomery **TMI…

**Jenna Marshall **updated her location to: Rosewood, Pennsylvania.

**Alison DiLaurentis **To anyone who might have sent me an anonymous text today: Ha-ha. You got me. Just don't do it again.

**Spencer Hastings **My mom just asked what kinds of cheeses I want for the platter at my congratulatory party. Geez.

**Alison DiLaurentis **The Hastings clan is kind of freaky when it comes to that, or so Jason says. He would know, anyway.

**Spencer Hastings **Why would Jason know?

**Alison DiLaurentis **Does it really matter?

**Spencer Hastings **I guess not.

**Ezra Fitz **Ow.

**Hardy Davis **What happened? Did one of those Brontë books finally fall on your foot? Or head? Or crotch?

**Ezra Fitz **First of all, I don't think that last one is physically possible. Next, some girl just bumped into me in the hallway and smacked me straight in the shoulder.

**Hardy Davis **You got hit by a girl!

**Ezra Fitz **I don't know why I bother telling you anything.

**Hanna Marin **So much for the police force being honorable.

**Ashley Marin **Sweetie, he was only giving me a ride home, I swear.

**Hanna Marin **Maybe you were too drunk to tell, but he was totally checking you out.

**Emily Fields **To address any rumors about me and Ben: Yeah, they're true. So what?

**Ben Coogan **likes this.

**Alison DiLaurentis **I'm so glad that you saved it for someone special, Em. He is special, isn't he?

**Aria Montgomery **is really annoyed.

**Alison DiLaurentis **You have to tell her.

**Aria Montgomery **I'm not going to tear apart my family, Ali.

**Mona Vanderwaal **is ready to wow at the Halloween party.

**Alison DiLaurentis **What party? The one you and Hermy are having in your basement? Because I can't think of any other ones that you'd be invited to.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Don't think that you can treat people like this. Someday, I'll show you that you can't just go around like you're better than everyone else.

**Alison DiLaurentis **I'd like to see you try, Moony Mon.

**Spencer Hastings Alison DiLaurentis **So you're _sure _that it's going to work?

**Alison DiLaurentis **Of course I'm sure! I can fix any problem, this one especially.

**Spencer Hastings **But no one's going to find out?

**Alison DiLaurentis **Why would they? You need to stop being such a worrier. Seriously, I think you'll get wrinkles from it. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised. You kind of look constipated all the time, so it wouldn't be that much different.

**Spencer Hastings **Um, unnecessary much?

**Alison DiLaurentis **I only say what everyone else is thinking, sweetie.

**Spencer Hastings **is the new class president!

**Alison DiLaurentis, Emily Fields, Aria Montgomery, **and **Hanna Marin **like this.

**Alison DiLaurentis **See? I told you it would work.

**Noel Kahn **And the party of the century is ON!

**56 people** like this.

**Jenna Marshall **Think I have Best Costume in the bag.

**Noel Kahn **I wouldn't be surprised. ;-)

**Alison DiLaurentis **It infuriates me how some people can just come in here and act like they run the world.

**Spencer Hastings **Okay, _that _was a little intense for a Halloween prank.

**Aria Montgomery, Emily Fields, **and **Hanna Marin **like this.

**Alison DiLaurentis **Calm down, guys. It's not like I'm ever going to be in real danger.

**A **Beg to differ. Game on, bitch.

**A/N: This one was really fun to write because I love seeing Ali controlling the other girls, who are typically so strong-willed and independent. **

**So how was your Memorial Day? Mine was all-American – baseballs, hot dogs, and apple pie. Gotta love it! **

**I have a few favors to ask of you, my darling, beloved readers: 1. Vote in the poll that's on my profile page. I'm curious to see people's opinions. 2. For all of you Spoby shippers, read my new one-shot. I'd love to hear your feedback! And 3. As always, please leave a review!**


	12. 1x21 and 2x17

**A/N: The first part of this chapter is set during episode 1x21, **_**Monsters in the End, **_**as requested by .moonbeams. Enjoy!**

**Hanna Marin **is no longer in a relationship with **Caleb Rivers.**

**Jenna Marshall **likes this.

**Caleb Rivers **Can we at least talk about this?

**Hanna Marin **We have nothing to talk about.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Aw, Han, I'll make you feel better. He was nothing but a jerk anyway.

**A **The little piggy never gets what she wants, sweetie. Unless it's food, of course.

**Ella Montgomery Aria Montgomery **So you're _sure _that's not him? The boy you were talking to in the hall?

**Aria Montgomery **I'm _not _dating Caleb, I swear!

**Hanna Marin **_You're _dating Caleb?

**Aria Montgomery **No! Why does everyone think I'm dating him?

**Caleb Rivers **Yeah, I don't get it either.

**Hanna Marin **Shut up – I don't want to see your name pop up _anywhere._

**Paige McCullers Emily Fields **So you set it up?

**Emily Fields **Yeah, I took care of it. Her name's Samara, I think.

**Ezra Fitz **…And I have coffee spilled all over me.

**Aria Montgomery **Sorry, Mr. Fitz.

**Hanna Marin Aria Montgomery **If you have an opportunity to figure out who that bitch is, you should seize it.

**Aria Montgomery **I don't want to stir up even more trouble. I don't necessarily need to know who Jackie is.

**Ezra Fitz **Wait – Jackie? You've heard about somebody named Jackie?

**Hanna Marin **No, she hasn't, _have you?_

**Aria Montgomery **No, I haven't.

**Toby Cavanaugh Spencer Hastings **So you'll be at the festival tonight?

**Spencer Hastings **Of course. It's about the only thing I have to look forward to right now.

**Emily Fields **and **Samara Cook **are now friends.

**Hanna Marin Aria Montgomery **Now that you have the profile set up, you need to figure out who she is once and for all.

**Aria Montgomery **I still feel bad about this… couldn't I just have done this on Facebook instead?

**Hanna Marin **No way! Unpopular social networking sites that look like they haven't been updated since the 90s are the best way to figure out all of life's mysteries.

**Samara Cook **For anyone who might be interested, Sheridan Prep has a jewelry booth for the festival tonight.

**Emily Fields **and **11 others **like this.

**Paige McCullers Emily Fields **So what was happening with you at that jewelry booth?

**Emily Fields **Maybe you would know if you hadn't stood me up.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Letters written by trash belong in the trash.

**Jackie Molina **What the hell? Who just friends someone and then defriends her?

**Aria Montgomery **See, Hanna? I told you she had to be on Facebook!

**Ian Thomas **Some people just don't know when they have trouble coming to them.

**Spencer Hastings **I know you think that you command everything, but you don't. You don't know anything about me.

**Emily Fields **Aria, Spence, Han – we need to meet up _now. _I have a key that might mean something.

**Hanna Marin **Wait! Caleb said something about a key that Jenna was looking for.

**Ezra Fitz **I may have just gotten into a _lot _of trouble…

**Aria Montgomery **Trouble? What trouble? Is it trouble involving us?

**Ezra Fitz **We'll talk tomorrow, okay?

**Spencer Hastings** Why was that flash drive there?

**Emily Fields **Well, obviously someone wanted us to see it.

**Aria Montgomery **Question is, was it Ali or A?

•••

**A/N: The second part of this chapter is set during 2x17, **_**The Blonde Leading The Blind, **_**as requested by ****omgiitstay.**

**Hanna Marin **At least the footage got us _somewhere._

**Spencer Hastings **The question is, where?

**Emily Fields Spencer Hastings **You really need to talk to Toby, Spence. He's _mad._

**Aria Montgomery **He's definitely not gay, guys.

**Spencer Hastings **Say what you want, but I don't think I believe you…

**Garret Reynolds **For anyone who's interested, my stalking's going to be happening outside of the espresso shop today.

**Caleb Rivers **Thanks for the update.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Noel Kahn is such a _jerk._

**Hanna Marin **and **Aria Montgomery **like this.

**Aria Montgomery Emily Fields **Thanks for letting me use your phone.

**Emily Fields **Of course! Did you hear anything from him?

**Aria Montgomery **Not yet. I think it's really over.

**Spencer Hastings **Oh, my God.

**A **Aw, are we worried about our boyfriend? Let me tell you, Spence, if I'm after him, Toby has no chance.

**Wren Kingston **is as charmingly British as ever.

**Spencer Hastings **Good luck with that.

**Wren Kingston **Aw…

**Emily Fields **She may be blind, but she acts like she sees everything.

**Spencer Hastings **likes this.

**Ella Montgomery **gets to be the personal chauffer of a girl with a driver's license. Back to the minivan days, I guess…

**Spencer Hastings **is officially miserable.

**Emily Fields **You're doing the right thing for him, Spence.

**Spencer Hastings **Once I can convince myself of that, it'll be okay.

**Emily Fields **Okay, I did the deed.

**Spencer Hastings **What did he say?

**Emily Fields **Not much.

**Spencer Hastings **and **Toby Cavanaugh **are no longer in a relationship.

**Aria Montgomery **There's nothing more fun then standing outside in the freezing cold waiting for someone who'll probably never come.

**Spencer Hastings **I don't think that beats making up an elaborate lie so that the guy you're in love with hates you.

**Aria Montgomery **Sure, you win.

**Ezra Fitz **"Be bold and the mighty forces will come to your aid." Huh.

**Noel Kahn **and **Jenna Marshall **are now in a relationship.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Ugh.

**Ezra Fitz **and **Aria Montgomery **are in a relationship.

**Hanna Marin **Huh. I can never keep up with you two.

**Byron Montgomery **you have

**Byron Montgomery **dishonored

**Byron Montgomery **me and the

**Byron Montgomery **family

**Byron Montgomery **I demand

**Byron Montgomery **you stop

**Byron Montgomery **seeing him

**Byron Montgomery **immediately1

**Toby Cavanaugh **just updated his location to: Anywhere but Rosewood.

**A **Two down, two to go! What fun I have toying with these little liars.


	13. 2x20

**A/N: This chapter is set during 2x20, Ctrl:A, as requested by endersaddict. Enjoy!**

**Aria Montgomery Spencer Hastings **So you're sure that we should meet him?

**Spencer Hastings **I can't see any other alternatives.

**Rosewood High **And the Sharks took the swim meet! Shout-out to MVP Emily Fields for getting them through a killer match!

**Maya St. Germain **likes this.

**Garrett Reynolds **And now I have nothing better to do than taking the laptops of 16-year-old kids.

**Caleb Rivers **has to use the Facebook app because he doesn't have a computer anymore.

**Hanna Marin **When are you going to get it back?

**Caleb Rivers **I don't know.

**A **Oh, but I do. And that would be… oh, try never.

**Aria Montgomery Holden Strauss **So you're parents are banning you from doing karate?

**Holden Strauss **It's not karate! It's an intense, complex form of Korean martial arts.

**Aria Montgomery **Okay, so it's Korean karate.

**Holden Strauss **Say what you want, just as long as I can keep doin it.

**Aria Montgomery **Fine, I'll cover for you.

**Hanna Marin **A quick lesson from my boyfriend taught me that "1234" isn't a good password.

**Caleb Rivers **likes this.

**Byron Montgomery **there shouldn't be any

**Byron Montgomery **reason why

**Byron Montgomery** Aria and Holden

**Byron Montgomery** should have to go

**Byron Montgomery** to the city

**Byron Montgomery** on a date, right/

**Aria Montgomery **Dad, for an English professor, you have a hard time forming a correct sentence.

**Spencer Hastings Jason DiLaurentis **I'm not going to talk to my father yet.

**Jason DiLaurentis **It can't do any wrong.

**Spencer Hastings **But it can't help, can it?

**Jason DiLaurentis **I don't see why it wouldn't.

**Aria Montgomery **Okay, I'm ready to do this thing.

**Emily Fields, Hanna Marin, **and **Spencer Hastings **like this.

**Emily Fields **I can't believe Jonah asked for $2000!

**Spencer Hastings **Where are we supposed to get that money?

**Hanna Marin **…We were kind of hoping from your parents.

**Spencer Hastings **Why?

**Aria Montgomery **Come on, Spence. You're filthy rich.

**Spencer Hastings **You make a good point. But there's no way I could dig up that sort of cash.

**Emily Fields **There's _no _family that you could borrow it from?

**Spencer Hastings **Well, there might be someone…

**Hanna Marin Caleb Rivers **Please tell me that you're not going to go along with the crazy police schemes.

**Caleb Rivers **This is none of your business, Han.

**Hanna Marin **Yeah, I think it is!

**Caleb Rivers **No, it's not. End of conversation.

**Ezra Fitz **has to eat French vegan food tonight.

**Aria Montgomery **But you're doing it because you love me, _right? _So you're happy about it, _right?_

**Ezra Fitz **Of course.

**Garrett Reynolds **is officially not good at this laptop-hacking thing.

**Darren Wilden **likes this.

**Byron Montgomery **Aria do you

**Byron Montgomery **know who

**Byron Montgomery **someone named

**Byron Montgomery **A is/

**Aria Montgomery **I wish I did.

**Emily Fields Maya St. Germain **So you're going back to rehab for sure?

**Maya St. Germain **Well, I don't see any other options.

**Emily Fields **I just can't believe that I'm losing you… again.

**Maya St. Germain **Yeah, well, I might be able to take care of it. Might be.

**Hanna Marin **Wilden has the tape of us in the morgue.

**Spencer Hastings **_What? _Do you have any idea what that might mean?

**Hanna Marin **No, not really.

**Spencer Hastings **Why does that not surprise me?

**Emily Fields Maya St. Germain **So it _wasn't _an old joint. You lied to me.

**Maya St. Germain **I didn't lie to you!

**Emily Fields **Right, you just told me something that was the opposite of the truth.

**Maya St. Germain **Well… yeah.

**Hanna Marin Spencer Hastings **Caleb's in a hot spot.

**Spencer Hastings **Wait – you're posting _while _you're doing it? God, I didn't know you were _that _kinky.

**Hanna Marin **What?... Oh, I get it. But that's not the point! I need your help.

**Spencer Hastings **Okay, I guess.

**Aria Montgomery Holden Strauss **Those were some pretty impressive fighting skills.

**Holden Strauss **Yeah, well, I guess you can see why I wanted to keep it up.

**Aria Montgomery **I'm glad I got the chance to see you.

**Spencer Hastings Hanna Marin **Do you know what Caleb's password is?

**Hanna Marin **Umm… it ended in 1105!, I think.

**Maya St. Germain Emily Fields **Please come with me.

**Emily Fields **Are you crazy? I can't just pack up and leave.

**Maya St. Germain **That's exactly what I'm going to do.

**Emily Fields **Well, I'm not you.

**Hanna Marin **We cracked it!

**Spencer Hastings **But now what do we do?

**Hanna Marin **I don't know, but I'm guessing that we should get off the internet and stop Facebooking.

**Spencer Hastings **…Yeah, that would probably be productive.

**A/N: I'm sorry that it was so short, but I'm kind of brain-drained today. Anyway, review as always, por favor. Love you guys!**


	14. Officially Taking Requests

**A/N: I've hit a bit of a creative roadblock when it comes to RSN – but don't worry, I'll probably be back in a few days, **_**definitely **_**once PLL comes back. So, until I get back to this, I was looking for some requests. I've done a couple one-shots lately that have gotten a really, really terrific response, and I'm looking to write some more of those one-shots, possibly a story.**

**Couples I'll write for:**

**Spoby**

**Ezria**

**Haleb**

**Pemily**

**Sparia**

**Most others (really, anything you can dream of)**

**So send me your request for a story, either in a PM or review, and I'll pick my favorite idea, maybe a few of them, and write you a story!**

**And, I know I say this waaay too much, but I love you guys!**

**~Emma**


	15. 2x03 and 2x18

**A/N: Sorry that it's been a while! I've been working on some other stories (readers are always appreciated, hint-hint!) I wanted to treat you guys, because you're completely incredible, so I'm having a marathon RSN writing session right now and I want to get done with a few more chapters today. First up is 2x03, **_**My Name Is Trouble, **_**as submitted by puppylove139 and crazzybookworm. Also, does Spencer have a new boyfriend? If Hanna's crazy matchmaking mind has anything to do with it, then yes. **

**Spencer Hastings **Guys, we _have _to think of a better place to meet than the bathroom.

**Aria Montgomery, Emily Fields, **and **Hanna Marin **like this.

**Hanna Marin **Yeah, and we have to do it more frequently, because I'm getting _so _sick of hanging out with Mona. She seems really distracted lately.

**Mona Vanderwaal **…Excuse me?

**Hanna Marin **Didn't mean it, of course!

**Mona Vanderwaal **If we weren't so close, I'd find another group of friends, or maybe do something worse…

**Toby Cavanaugh Spencer Hastings **Do you want to come over after school today?

**Spencer Hastings **I can't.

**Toby Cavanaugh **Why not?

**Spencer Hastings **I'm going to be busy buying… something.

**Toby Cavanaugh **Something?

**Spencer Hastings **I can't talk now, okay?

**Hanna Marin Lucas Gottesman **That was nice of you, letting Caleb stay at your house.

**Lucas Gottesman **Yeah, I guess I'm just a nice person.

**Caleb Rivers **He is, and so am I.

**Hanna Marin **You're going to have to try a _little _harder than that.

**Aria Montgomery **Pottery class just got a little more exciting…

**Ezra Fitz **It'll be good for you, I swear.

**Aria Montgomery **I guess so.

**Aria Montgomery **Okay, so that didn't really work out.

**Ezra Fitz **Why not?

**Aria Montgomery **She kind of screamed at me to get away from me.

**Ezra Fitz **Fair enough.

**Spencer Hastings Emily Fields **Are you _sure _you can't sleep over?

**Emily Fields **Remember the rules?

**Spencer Hastings **I hate the rules.

**Hanna Marin **It's _really _weird to have my parents under one roof again.

**Lucas Gottesman **I can't believe you got me a date!

**Hanna Marin **You seriously need to raise your self-confidence! It's not impossible for a girl to like you, you know.

**Lucas Gottesman **Well, if you take into account my nerd factor multiplied by my present GPA and then add the number of comic books I read every week, then, yeah, it is.

**Hanna Marin **You think too much. Kind of like Spencer. Ooh, maybe I should set you up with her!

**Spencer Hastings **…

**Spencer Hastings **I'm dating Toby, remember?

**Hanna Marin **Well, yeah, but Lucas would be, like, totally perfect for you!

**Spencer Hastings **Forget it.

**Lucas Gottesman **See? Impossible.

**Hanna Marin **Evidently not, since I got you a date with Danielle. But I still think Spence would be better!

**Emily Fields **I never thought I would be so devastated to get into my first-choice college.

**Spencer Hastings Toby Cavanaugh **Hey, can I drop by later? I have something that I need to show you.

**Toby Cavanaugh **Is it that 'something' that you were busy with earlier?

**Spencer Hastings** …Maybe.

**Hanna Marin **Toby, you should break up with her.

**Spencer Hastings **Oh, not this again…

**Toby Cavanaugh **Not what?

**Hanna Marin **I have the perfect nerd for Spence!

**Lucas Gottesman **I object to being called a nerd.

**Hanna Marin **You called yourself a nerd a few minutes ago!

**Lucas Gottesman **…Oops.

**Spencer Hastings **I am _seriously _freaked by this new alliance between Wren and Melissa.

**Wren Kingston **Oh, hello, Spencer! I'm glad to see you haven't forgotten about me. So would you like to go out to dinner sometime?

**Hanna Marin **NO! Come on, people! She and _Lucas _are going to be together!

•••

**A/N: This next part is set during 2x18, **_**A Kiss Before Lying, **_**as requested by ****BFFL97.**

**Aria Montgomery **So what was up with Ali and the dark hair?  
**Emily Fields **I don't know, but it seriously freaked me out.

**Spencer Hastings **Alison had a reason to do everything, and I don't think the hair was any difference.

**Hanna Marin **Hi, guys! Are you going to talk to me now?

**Spencer Hastings **is really lonely.

**Aria Montgomery **Aw, Spence, it'll be okay. Do you want me to come over?

**Spencer Hastings **Yeah, that would be really good.

**Ezra Fitz **just engaged in a little distracted driving…

**Aria Montgomery **likes this.

**Kate Randall **just updated her location to: Rosewood, Pennsylvania

**Hanna Marin **Oh, God.

**Spencer Hastings **I swear that I've met her before!

**Aria Montgomery **So who thinks that Jenna and Garrett are totally creepy together?

**Spencer Hastings **(raises hand)

**Emily Fields **We need to figure it out, and soon.

**Hanna Marin **Spence, can't you just ask Toby to do it for you? He totally does anything you want.

**Hanna Marin **Oh, my God, I can't believe I just said that.

**Emily Fields Maya St. Germain **I can't wait for you to see my mom again.

**Maya St. Germain **I can.

**Emily Fields **What?

**Maya St. Germain **I mean, I'll do it, because I love you.

**Emily Fields **That's better.

**Spencer Hastings Kate Randall **You're absolutely sure we haven't met before?

**Kate Randall **Totally.

**Pam Fields Emily Fields **So we're on for dinner tonight?

**Emily Fields **likes this.

**Spencer Hastings **just found a _very _interesting photo of someone…

**Emily Fields Maya St. Germain **Do you think that you could maybe be a little more subtle with my mom?

**Maya St. Germain **I don't know what you mean.

**Aria Montgomery Holden Strauss **Have you ever been beaten in four straight games of air hockey before? Because I thoroughly defeated you.

**Holden Strauss **You're a little cocky, aren't you? Because, if I remember right, I always trumped you in skeeball.

**Aria Montgomery **I don't know! If I keep up my winning streak, maybe that won't be true anymore.

**Hanna Marin Spencer Hastings **I can't believe that you went behind my back!

**Spencer Hastings **Han, we had to!

**Hanna Marin **"We?" Are all the others in this too?

**Spencer Hastings **You don't understand – if we could just talk about this…

**Hanna Marin** Talking wouldn't help.

**Ezra Fitz Aria Montgomery **We really, really need to talk.

**Aria Montgomery **About what?

**Ezra Fitz **A job offer. From your father.

**Aria Montgomery **Oh, great.

**Spencer Hastings Hanna Marin **I really am sorry, you know.

**Hanna Marin **I know. Caleb is, too. Now let's work on that little Vivian Darkbloom mystery.

**Kate Randall **I've heard of evil stepsisters, but I never thought that I would have one.

**Hanna Marin **I didn't send those pictures!

**Kate Randall **Tell that to the principal when he's ready to suspend you.

**A **just got a new weapon – courtesy of one Peter Hastings!


	16. 1x14 and 1x11

**A/N: This first part is set during 1x14, **_**Careful What U Wish 4, **_**as requested by poisonnwine. **

**Spencer Hastings** Okay, that conversation with Ian officially scared me.

**Emily Fields, Aria Montgomery, **and **Hanna Marin **like this.

**Aria Montgomery **I think we need to submit that video to the police, guys.

**Hanna Marin **But what if it's another set-up from our bestie A? We can't afford that!

**Emily Fields **We need to turn it in! Toby can't go to jail if he didn't murder Alison – and he _didn't. _

**Hanna Marin **is desperately seeking a job.

**Ashley Marin **Sweetie, that's not the kind of thing we like to advertise.

**A **I have a job that you can do, Hannakins!

**Hanna Marin **And I'm guessing I don't have a choice?

**A **Of course you do1 But I think that you'll profit greatly from this job.

**Hanna Marin **…Fine, I'm in. When do I start?

**A **It isn't your typical 9-to-5, dearie. I'll text you the deets, kaykay?

**Hanna Marin **Okay…

**Aria Montgomery Simone Fortescue **It's _so _good to see you again! How long are you going to be staying?

**Simone Fortescue **Oh, I don't know. I'm not in a huge rush to get back to New York, especially if things go well here.

**Aria Montgomery **Things?

**Simone Fortescue **You know… with that super-cute English teacher of yours!

**Aria Montgomrey **Oh. _Those _things.

**Emily Fields Caleb Rivers **So you're sure that you can take care of the phone?

**Caleb Rivers **You insult me - I could take apart the phone, put it back together, and rig it so that it could call anyone on Mars. You know, if they had cell towers on Mars. That's how good I am, anyway.

**Emily Fields: ...**Huh.

**Spencer Hastings **is missing a laptop. Silver with pink detailing, return to locker 275 at Rosewood High.

**A **Oh, sweetie. Why would Ian give it back? You're busted and you know it.

**Aria Montgomery Ezra Fitz **So you have to go to coffee with her?

**Ezra Fitz **Aria, I don't _have _to – I think that it'll be fun.

**Aria Montgomery **Fun? Going out with her's going to be fun?

**Ezra Fitz **You know that I should go on dates with other girls every now and then, or people are going to be suspicious.

**Hanna Marin **If anyone wants to have _real _fun tonight, I've got the magic potion for it!

**Emily Fields **I still can't believe that you snuck a flask into a school dance.

**Hanna Marin **Don't jump down my throat for this, Miss Goody-Goody.

**A **Did you get my text, Han?

**Hanna Marin **I'm sure that you're here; why don't you just look at me and see?

**A **Because it's more fun asking you.

**Hanna Marin **But you'll seriously fork over the cash.

**A **Oh, come on, darling. Do I ever play games with you?

**Emily Fields **Yes.

**Aria Montgomery **Yes.

**Spencer Hastings **Only all the time!

**Sean Ackard Hanna Marin **You're _seriously _going to dance with him?

**Hanna Marin **Why shouldn't I?

**Sean Ackard **Because he's a huge jerk!

**Hanna Marin **If you got to know him, you'd know that he isn't.

**Sean Ackard **If you dance with him, we're over.

**Hanna Marin **Fine.

**Sean Ackard **Fine.

**Sean Ackard **is no longer in a relationship with **Hanna Marin.**

**Emily Fields **Well, I talked to Maya.

**Spencer Hastings **How'd it go?

**Emily Fields **I don't want to talk about it.

**Aria Montgomery **She _had _to mention the Cookie Monster.

**Ezra Fitz **It's cute!

**Aria Montgomery **Cute like a three-year-old cute.

**Ezra Fitz **Calm down about this. It's no big deal.

**Aria Montgomery **Beg to differ!

**A **Good job, Hanna! You're breaking his heart slowly and surely, just like I hoped. Yay, you!

**Hanna Marin **Yeah, well, screw you.

**Spencer Hastings **Well, _that _was an awkward dance. Thanks a lot, Aria!

**Aria Montgomery **I'm sorry, Spence…

**Hanna Marin Emily Fields **I told you that you would appreciate the flask sooner or later!

**Emily Fields **Yeah, well, the flask and I might become good friends.

**A **What a fun time at the dance-a-thon! I can only hope that me and my new besties might hang out more…

•••

**A/N: This second part takes place during 1x11, **_**Moments Later, **_**a repeat request from a very adamant fan, purpleffreak. ;-)**

**Hanna Marin **Ow.

**A **likes this.

**Hanna Marin **Oh, shut up!

**A **So rude, Hanna! Why in the world would you talk to me like that?

**Hanna Marin **You backed over me with a freaking car.

**Spencer Hastings **I'm telling you guys, it had to be Toby. He's such a _freak!_

**Emily Fields **And I'm telling you that it wasn't him. Seriously, Spence, someday you'll see that he's not so terrible.

**Spencer Hastings **No way. Once a creep, always a creep.

**Melissa Hastings** Spence, this must be terrible for you – I'm _so _sorry!

**Spencer Hastings **Thanks, Melissa – that's actually really nice.

**Melissa Hastings **Well, what am I if not nice?

**Spencer Hastings **I could come up with a lot of adjectives, but I'll refrain from sharing them.

**Ezra Fitz Aria Montgomery **"I see you" means something, and you know it.

**Aria Montgomery **I'm telling you, it doesn't mean anything!

**Hanna Marin **So Noel's A and Aria's hooking up with Mr. Fitz. This was almost worth getting hit by the car!

**Aria Montgomery **Hanna! We're not hooking up!

**Hanna Marin **Oh, really?

**Aria Montgomery **I swear that it's true.

**Hanna Marin **Sure.

**Spencer Hastings **I'm just surprised about Noel. He always seemed so normal.

**Emily Fields **I guess he just surprised us.

**Spencer Hastings **Yeah, and not in a good way.

**Mona Vanderwaal Hanna Marin **Han, I'm sooo sorry! I was sooo awful to you. I promise that I won't do anything like that again!

**Hanna Marin **Thanks, Mon. I love you; you're _such _a good friend!

**Lucas Gottesman **is kind of on a high.

**Hanna Marin **Really? A high? From kissing my forehead?

**Lucas Gottesman **Hey, it's the closest to a real kiss I've ever gotten!

**Aria Montgomery Noel Kahn **So you swear you won't say anything?

**Noel Kahn **I won't… for the time being.

**Ezra Fitz Aria Montgomery **This is more dangerous than ever, you know.

**Aria Montgomery **So do you want to back out of it?

**Ezra Fitz **You know that's the last thing I want.

**Aria Montgomery **So we'll just have to be extra-careful.

**Wayne Fields Pam Fields **We really need to talk.

**Emily Fields **Not about me?

**Wayne Fields **That's between your mother and me.

**Spencer Hastings Aria Montgomery **I still can't believe about you two.

**Aria Montgomery **And sometimes, I can't either.

**Spencer Hastings **It's just so strange! I never would have expected it.

**Aria Montgomery **Oh, and you think I did?

**Spencer Hastings **Guess not.

**Melissa Hastings **just updated her relationship status to: Married to **Ian Thomas.**

**Spencer Hastings **Ewewewewewewew!

**A/N: I'm going to do something different to celebrate Chapter 20: Instead of the normal Facebook format, I'm going to be conducting an interview! So, starting now, you guys can submit your questions (for any character) and all will be asked. **

**I'm 8 away from 100 reviews! Pretty great, right?  
**


	17. 3x01

**A/N: Oh, my goodness, I'm so sorry for the negligence! There was a string of family emergencies that I had to deal with the past few days, and it's been a really, really awful week – but I got to see the PLL S3 premiere (which is when this chapter takes place) and I've also read Book #11, **_**Stunning, **_**twice (I think it's my favorite one yet!), so that kind of alleviated my situation.**

**Anyway, now that my family stuff's over (for the most part, at least) I'll be back to updating frequently. **

**Emily Fields Spencer Hastings **Can I _pleaaaase _have my flask back? The graveyard's super-boring without anything to drink.

**Spencer Hastings **GRAVEYARD? Em, why are you at a _graveyard?_

**Emily Fields **That's a really good question.

**Hanna Marin **Yeah, and why are you on FB? Shouldn't you be, like, _mourning _or something?

**Aria Montgomery **Focus on the important questions here, Han.

**Hanna Marin **What? That is important!

**Aria Montgomery **Maybe to you...

**Hanna Marin **I dissent! I'm sure scores of people would attest to the fact that my reasoning is viable.

**Spencer Hastings** Wait, did you actually study vocab words or just start watching _The Big Bang Theory?_

**Hanna Marin **…No comment.

**Aria Montgomery **Is it just me, or does Lucas have _way _more stubble than he did last year?

**Hanna Marin **Yeah, it looks like boy FINALLY learned how to grow some facial hair!

**Aria Montgomery **I guess it's a part of his new bad-boy act.

**Hanna Marin **No, I think that he's too scared of the razor blade to use it on his face, so he just decided to go au naturale instead.

**Lucas Gottesman **Uh, no! I'm fully dangerous and mysterious now.

**Aria Montgomery **You just lost all points you may have had in that category by posting that.

**Lucas Gottesman **I'm not sure how to pull off this act… I miss my comic books so much!

**Spencer Hastings **To whom it may concern: My friends and I were in the lake house ALL night! Definitely! So don't bother asking any questions! Because our story's totally believable!

**Emily Fields **Spence, how much coffee did you have to drink this morning?

**Spencer Hastings **Only, like, four or five cups. Why?

**Emily Fields **…No reason.

**Ezra Fitz Aria Montgomery **So are we going for the _full _recreation?

**Aria Montgomery **I don't know, I think it might be a tad bit classier this time around. You know, classier than the bathroom.

**Byron Montgomery **There is no

**Byron Montgomery **way I am going to

**Byron Montgomery **let you into a

**Byron Montgomery **bathroom with that man1

**Aria Montgomery **God, Dad, why don't you just delete your FB account?

**Byron Montgomery **because some

**Byron Montgomery **day I will

**Byron Montgomery **get the

**Byron Montgomery **hang of this

**Byron Montgomery **I swear

**Hanna Marin **has officially kicked the awful shoplifting habit!

**Spencer Hastings, Aria Montgomery, Emily Fields, Ashley Marin, **and **Darren Wilden **like this.

**Wren Kingston Hanna Marin **I'll call you if I see any difference, alright?

**Hanna Marin **Thank you; that really does mean a lot.

**Spencer Hastings **Wait – you two know each other? I didn't know that you'd ever shared a conversation.

**Wren Kingston **Hi, Spencer! I'm still in love with you!

**Spencer Hastings **Oh, this is just getting sad.

**Emily Fields **just got emotional over a scarf…

**Spencer Hastings Toby Cavanaugh **Okay, I'm making a rule: NO MORE SHIRTS. I'm serious! I will absolutely not allow you to wear anything on the top half of your body anymore. That can go for the rest of your bottom half too, if you want it to…

**967 people **like this.

**Aria Montgomery **I don't know that trips could the bathroom could be THAT scary.

**Byron Montgomery **are you

**Byron Montgomery **having constipation

**Byron Montgomery **too/

**Aria Montgomery **1. No 2. Don't post about that on Facebook 3. You only get constipated when I say Ezra's name.

**Byron Montgomery **Ack1

**Byron Montgomery **don't say

**Byron Montgomery **that name111

**Spencer Hastings **WOW.

**Aria Montgomery **I told you!

**Emily Fields Toby Cavanaugh **Hey, thanks for meeting me earlier. It really helped me.

**Toby Cavanaugh **Yeah, anytime! I'm kind of scared to have Spencer over, because, you know, it's a _coffee _shop, and, well, she's Spencer, but it's nice to have company.

**Spencer Hastings **I resent the implication that coffee has such a severe effect on me as everyone seems to think!

**Toby Cavanaugh **…But it's true, Spence.

**Spencer Hastings **And?

**Hanna Marin **The Radley just got a LOT creepier.

**Emily Fields **Wait, the Radley? You were there?

**Aria Montgomery **Were you visiting Mona?

**Hanna Marin **No, of course not! I just meant the, um, new shop at the mall! You know, the one that sells those Halloween costumes? Including those weird vampire teeth? Yeah, I was in there today, and it was totally scary.

**Spencer Hastings **I didn't see any shop named that when I was there yesterday…

**Hanna Marin **It's really new! Like, _really _new.

**Emily Fields **Right.

**Aria Montgomery **How is it that when I'm scheduled to enjoy the most romantic date of my life, I get picked up by the police?

**Spencer Hastings **Yeah, I was ready to have a nice evening of staring at Toby's abs, but it was _sadly _interrupted.

**Hanna Marin **I think that you're a little obsessed with Toby's abs, Spence.

**Spencer Hastings **And is that a crime? I think not.

**Emily Fields **Yeah, I REALLY missed A…

**Hanna Marin **Right? I so do not need this in my life right now. I've got to look at colleges!

**Spencer Hastings **Yeah, and maybe bring up your GPA a little – I don't think most schools will appreciate that you were too busy studying _cooking _this summer to focus on academics.

**Hanna Marin **Relax, Spence! Not all of us need our Giraffe Pressure Atom to be huge like you do.

**Aria Montgomery **…What?

**Hanna Marin **Giraffe Pressure Atom! That's what GPA stands for.

**Emily Fields **And who told you that?

**Hanna Marin **Caleb, of course!

**Spencer Hastings **I think he might have been joking.

**Caleb Rivers **Guilty!

**A/N: So did you enjoy the premiere? It took my breath away; I thought it was incredible! The only problem is that I don't think I can wait for a full week between new epis. Any theories on the new A? I'd say Jenna, but she's just too obvious. Honestly, I think it might be Maya… but I don't know. **

**As a reminder, Chapter 20 will be in the form of an interview, so submit your questions now so that they'll be asked!**


	18. 2x21

**A/N: Okay, this one's set during 2x21, **_**Breaking The Code, **_**and I don't know if it's the late-night high or what, but I had a lot of fun writing it, so I hope you'll have as much fun reading it!**

**Emily Fields Spencer Hastings **So you're sure that this relative doesn't mind that you need _two thousand _dollars?

**Spencer Hastings **No, he'll be fine with it.

**Hanna Marin **Who is he, anyway? Uncle? Cousin? Grandpa? Or someone else?

**Spencer Hastings** …Or someone else.

**Aria Montgomery **I'm just glad you're going with me; I'd be too freaked out on my own.

**Spencer Hastings **Team Sparia's got this one.

**Mona Vanderwaal Hanna Marin **I can't _believe _that you forgot that we were going to go shopping!

**Hanna Marin **I didn't _forget, _okay? I was just distracted,

**Mona Vanderwaal **Distracted by what? Your other besties? The ones who're more important than moi?

**Hanna Marin **You don't need to know.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Oh, now you're keeping secrets from me?

**Hanna Marin **I'll make it up to you, I swear!

**Ashley Marin **can't comprehend how the authorities in this town abuse their authority.

**Darren Wilden **I'm not _abusing _my authority… but, hey, if you want to go out for drinks sometime, I'd be cool with it.

**Ashley Marin **Ugh.

**Hanna Marin **Double ugh!

**Melissa Hastings Spencer Hastings **How can you be so calm about this?

**Spencer Hastings **I'm not _calm; _I'm just trying to understand this.

**Melissa Hastings **What is there to understand? Dad is Jason's father, too, and he hid it from us all of these years.

**Spencer Hastings **But we're going to keep this quiet, right?

**Melissa Hastings **I don't think that we have any other options.

**Paige McCullers Emily Fields **So you're up to getting some donations?

**Emily Fields **Definitely! It might actually be kind of fun.

**Paige McCullers **"Kind of?" I'm insulted!

**Emily Fields **Sorry, sorry! It'll be totally fun.

**Paige McCullers **_That's _more like it.

**Hanna Marin Mona Vanderwaal **So how many texts has A sent you?

**Mona Vanderwaal **I don't know! Like, three, I think? Does it really matter?

**Hanna Marin **Of course it matters! A is serious, Mon. If shim's threatening you, then you can't take it casually.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Yeah, it sounds like she's a force to be reckoned with…

**Hanna Marin **We don't know that A's a "she."

**Mona Vanderwaal **We don't? I guess I just assumed.

**Spencer Hastings Aria Montgomery **I _really _don't think that Garrett following us to the park is a good sign.

**Aria Montgomery **Really? Not a good sign? What was your first clue?

**Spencer Hastings **You _know _what I mean. He might be watching us near other places around town, but NO ONE knew that we were going to meet Jonah.

**Aria Montgomery **So you think he's keeping tabs on us?

**Spencer Hastings **I don't know what he's doing, but it's a lot more than keeping tabs.

**Aria Montgomery **Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh God, oh God!

**Spencer Hastings **What is it? Is Garrett at your house now? I swear I will squash him like a little bug if he tries to lay a finger on you.

**Aria Montgomery **It's not Garrett. A's officially freaked me out, once and for all.

**Spencer Hastings **What did that freak do now?

**Aria Montgomery **I'll be over to your house in a few; I'll explain then.

**Emily Fields Hanna Marin **So you haven't told Mona _anything?_

**Hanna Marin **No, I don't want A to hurt her, I just feel really guilty about it all.

**Emily Fields **We _all _feel guilty, Hanna. A's pushing us to lie to everyone, and none of us like it.

**Hanna Marin **When we find out who that bitch is, I'm going to make her pay for everything.

**Spencer Hastings Aria Montgomery **How could you lie to us like that?

**Aria Montgomery **I thought that this way, A couldn't find out!

**Spencer Hastings **Oh, please! A finds out about _everything _we do.

**Aria Montgomery **And it's bad that I had a little optimism for once?

**Spencer Hastings **No, it's bad that you let me believe that we were actually in the same position. You might not realize this, but it _seriously _hurt to lose Toby. I thought that you understood, but, clearly, you didn't.

**Aria Montgomery **Spence, I'm so sorry.

**Hanna Marin Spencer Hastings **Stop fighting with Aria – your _sister _was in that video and it looks like she was just about ready to kill Ali!

**Spencer Hastings **Look, I know that my sister's not the most likeable person, but can't we give her some benefit of the doubt?

**Emily Fields **But what if the video's serious and we're screwing up by not turning it in?

**Spencer Hastings **Just let me talk to her first.

**Aria Montgomery **Spencer's right, you guys. Remember when that video looked like _Ian _was killing Ali, when, really, they were just kissing? We need to wait on this one.

**Mona Vanderwaal Hanna Marin **How does A know all this stuff about you?

**Hanna Marin **I don't know! Shim's like a psycho stalker who's everywhere all the time.

**Mona Vanderwaal **You have to admit, A's actually kind of genius. I mean, pulling all this off must take a lot of work.

**Hanna Marin **Are you actually DEFENDING A?

**Mona Vanderwaal **More like admiring. You know, like when we applauded Riley Wolfe for making Snow Queen last winter even though she was a part of the toilet paper incident just the week before?

**Hanna Marin **Riley Wolfe never tried to kill me.

**Spencer Hastings **Okay, that chat didn't go exactly as planned…

**Emily Fields **Why? What happened?

**Spencer Hastings **Melissa drove off with _Garrett._

**Aria Montgomery **So where are you now?

**Spencer Hastings **About to leave the bar.

**Hanna Marin **You should come over to my house! I seriously need moral support right now.

**Spencer Hastings **I can't, Han; I'm sorry.

**Hanna Marin **Why not? Do you already have plans? Is Toby back in town or something?

**Spencer Hastings **What? No, of course not! Don't you think I would have told you about that?

**Emily Fields **So where are you going?

**Spencer Hastings **…Over to Wren's.

**Aria Montgomery **Wait, that cute doctor?

**Emily Fields **The one who told me about the HGH?

**Hanna Marin **The one with the fabulous accent?

**Spencer Hastings **Yes, _that _Wren.

**Hanna Marin **Ooh!

**Spencer Hastings **There's no "ooh" about it, Han. We're just catching up, that's all.

**Aria Montgomery **And what does "catching up" mean in this context?

**Spencer Hastings **I'm logging off now. Night, everyone!

**Emily Fields **How can the law firm be abandoned? It wasn't even that old!

**Aria Montgomery **Maybe someone there got into trouble. Maybe they did something they weren't supposed to.

**Emily Fields **Like send threats to a fifteen-year-old? It would definitely be scandalous.

**Hanna Marin **Spencer can fight it all she wants to, but Melissa's looking worse and worse.

**Emily Fields **and **Aria Montgomery **like this.

**Spencer Hastings **i hAvE FivE TeSTS TOMORROW AND i DON'T EVEn CaRe! wOO!

**Aria Montgomery **Spence? Why are you writing like that?

**Spencer Hastings **AriA! HIIII! U shUlD tRy sCotCh, it's SOOOOOO good!

**Wren Kingston **Okay, that's enough of that. Bedtime for you!

**Spencer Hastings **BUt whyyyyYyyyYyyy?

**Aria Montgomery **Wait, is she drunk?

**Wren Kingston **Tad bit, yeah.

**Aria Montgomery **…Huh.

**Hanna Marin Mona Vanderwaal **Thank you for not ratting my mom out. You're _such _an amazing friend; I don't know how I can ever repay you.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Don't even try! That's what friends are for, sweetie. I would never hurt you or your mom.

**Hanna Marin **Aw, I love you, Mona.

**Mona Vanderwaal **I love you too.

**Spencer Hastings **is tardy for the first time in your life.

**Wren Kingston **Just remember, my couch is very much available.

**Spencer Hastings **Yeah, I might just take you up on that.

**Toby Cavanaugh **Wait – that's what you said to _me. _About the motel room.

**Spencer Hastings **TOBY? You're talking to me again?

**Wren Kingston **Come on, carpenter, I really had something going here!

**Toby Cavanaugh **I'm not _talking _to you. I just figured that I'd point it out.

**Spencer Hastings **And, you know, any time you want to stop by Rosewood or whatever, I'm kind of an emotional mess! I'd love to have you around!

**Wren Kingston **Come on, I thought you were in love with me now!

**Spencer Hastings **…Yeah, that's really not working out.

**Aria Montgomery Ezra Fitz **I can't _believe _that you're taking the job!

**Ezra Fitz **Aria, come on. It's an incredible job, and we both know that there' no way I can be successful in Rosewood anymore.

**Aria Montgomery **But that doesn't mean that you should move to New Orleans!

**Ezra Fitz **I'm not getting a whole lot of other opportunities. This could be my only way out.

**Aria Montgomery **Of our relationship, you mean to say.

**Ella Montgomery Byron Montgomery **You shouldn't have set him up with that job.

**Byron Montgomery **I felt th

**Byron Montgomery **at it would

**Byron Montgomery **be a good

**Byron Montgomery **way to g

**Byron Montgomery **et him out of

**Byron Montgomery **our lives1

**Ella Montgomery **Oh, honey, you know I can't take you seriously when your posts are like that.

**Ezra Fitz **…Well, that was an awkward cup of tea.

**Aria Montgomery **and **Ella Montgomery **like this.

**A/N: Don't forget that Chapter 20's an interview, so SUBMIT YOUR QUESTIONS for ANY CHARACTERS to have them ASKED!**

**I just overused the caps lock button a little too much.**

**Anyway, please leave a review – those've been slowing down lately, and I really do love hearing your feedback! Speaking of which, as of right now, I have 99 reviews, so the next one submitted will be my one hundredth – pretty great, considering I've only been writing this for 20 days. I love you guys and the incredible things I hear from you!**


	19. 2x22

**A/N: Passed the 100-review mark – pretty great! This chapter's set right after last one, so during episode 2x22, **_**Father Knows Best, **_**during which I came close to sobbing dramatically when Toby didn't get off that motorcycle and talk to Spencer.**

**Ahem. Enjoy!**

**Hanna Marin Emily Fields **So do you have _any _idea where Maya might have gone?

**Emily Fields **No! I mean, she mentioned maybe moving to San Francisco, but I don't think she would _actually _do that without telling me. Would she?

**Spencer Hastings Melissa Hastings **I don't think you should be spending time with Garrett – he's dangerous.

**Melissa Hastings **How can you say that, Spence? He's been a good friend through all of this.

**Spencer Hastings **I still know what he's capable of, and what he's done. You need to stay far away from him.

**Aria Montgomery **SERIOUSLY doesn't want to go to the Father-Daughter Dance this weekend.

**Spencer Hastings **likes this.

**Darren Wilden Ashley Marin **So you really don't know anything about who this "A" person might be?

**Ashley Marin **How am I supposed to know – and if I _did _know, wouldn't I have crushed them already?

**Darren Wilden **Fair enough.

**Hanna Marin **I can't _believe _that my dad bailed on this dance,

**Kate Randall **It's only because he doesn't love you as much as he loves me!

**Hanna Marin **Oh, shut UP!

**Emily Fields Spencer Hastings **You have to admit, Spence, there's just too much evidence against Melissa to ignore. We _have _to do something about it.

**Hanna Marin **and **Aria Montgomery **like this.

**Spencer Hastings **It just wouldn't make any sense!

**Hanna Marin **Are you kidding? It would make too much sense. Melissa hates us – okay, pretty much just you, but I'll say us – and she hated Ali, too.

**Spencer Hastings **We just need more time.

**Melissa Hastings Spencer Hastings **So you're really going to listen to him and let him shower you with gifts like this?

**Spencer Hastings **I really do think that he feels bad, that this was just a mistake.

**Melissa Hastings **Fathering a child and then hiding it for twenty years isn't a mistake, Spence. It's a huge violation of our trust.

**Spencer Hastings **He's our _father, _Melissa! I can't just ignore him. Especially after he gave me that pretty necklace…

**Mona Vanderwaal Hanna Marin **Why was your mom _with_ that creep?

**Hanna Marin **I honestly have no idea.

**Hanna Marin Ashley Marin **Why were you _with _that creep?

**Ashley Marin **If I can't get answers from you, then I have to get them from someone, even if it is Wilden.

**Hanna Marin **I can't give you answers because there aren't any questions! Mom, you need to stop digging.

**Ashley Marin **You don't have the authority to say that.

**Aria Montgomery **I can't believe that my baby brother is ALREADY shaving!

**Mike Montgomery **I'm not your baby brother1

**Aria Montgomery **Yeah, you pretty much are…

**Mike Montgomery **Ugh.

**Aria Montgomery **Love you too!

**Emily Fields Wayne Fields **So you really think that Maya's going to come home?

**Wayne Fields **With you waiting for her here? Absolutely.

**Spencer Hastings **Having my father try to suck up to me is actually pretty interesting.

**Melissa Hastings **Why were you acting so weird when I came home?

**Spencer Hastings **I found something in Dad's tax records, something that was seriously out of place.

**Melissa Hastings **Oh yeah? What was it?

**Spencer Hastings **I'll tell you later.

**Emily Fields **Guys… I'm worried about Maya.

**Hanna Marin **Isn't it a little late for that?

**Emily Fields **I mean, worried in a different way. She was talking to someone in a dark-colored car.

**Spencer Hastings **Em, dark-colored cars count for over 50% of our nation's transportation. She isn't _necessarily _in danger as far as A is concerned.

**Ashley Marin Hanna Marin **I _need _to go what's going on!

**Hanna Marin **And I'm not going to tell you, because you _don't _need to know.

**Emily Fields **As if my week couldn't be worse, now my dad's leaving for Afghanistan.

**Aria Montgomery **Why do you guys think I'm the best at lying?  
**Spencer Hastings **Two words: Mr. Fitz.

**Aria Montgomery **Oh, yeah… That makes sense.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Well, you better get on it! If Han's mom finds out ANYTHING else, we might all be in trouble.

**Spencer Hastings **is so not up to a father-daughter dance right now.

**Aria Montgomery **Okay, I've pulled up to the Marins'. Ready to drop the "bomb…"

**Spencer Hastings** I REALLY wish that was Toby on the motorcycle. He's not back in Rosewood, is he? Because I could seriously use that.

**Ashley Marin Hanna Marin **Did you tell Aria to talk to me?

**Hanna Marin **No, of course not! Why did she talk to you?

**Ashley Marin **No reason. I'm just not sure that I believe her.

**Melissa Hastings Spencer Hastings **Do you have _any _idea who might have taken that gun?

**Spencer Hastings **If I did, I would have told the police. Do YOU?

**Melissa Hastings **Why would I?

**Ella Montgomery Ashley Marin **These girls have something to hide – and it's not that they're sneaking out after curfew. This is _big._

**Ashley Marin **And if we don't find out what it is, one of them might get seriously hurt,

**A/N: Okay, so next chapter's the interview, and I'm DRASTICALLY low on questions from you guys. I have a reserve of those that I can dip into, but please do submit them!**

**As always, reviews are much welcome, so leave one (or a few!).**


	20. The Interview

**A/N: As promised multiple times, Chapter 20 – a huge milestone – is in the form of an interview. I'll start out asking questions from my interview reserve that some friends and I came up with a few months back, when we did a similar interview with my original characters. (Speaking of friends, my bestie, Julia, makes a brief appearance!) The last part is made up of questions that you guys, my wonderful fans, submitted. **

**As always, I hope you enjoy!**

**Emma: **Hi, everyone! I'm Emma, a.k.a. A Strange Audacity, and tonight I'll be jumping into ABC Family's hit series, _Pretty Little Liars, _and interviewing the characters. So now give it up for Spencer, Aria, Hanna, Emily, and all the other people!

**Audience bursts into applause**

**Spencer: **So, did we _do _something to be subjected to this? Because I have five exams in different classes this week, and I should _really _be studying.

**Toby: **Spence, it's the first week of school. How can you have _that _many tests?

**Hanna: **She's _Spencer, _for God's sake! She _voluntarily _took college courses over the summer, when she should have been tanning and actually _relaxing. _

**Spencer: **I have a vocabulary of over 35,00 words. Unfortunately, "relax" is not in it.

**Emma: **Good to know... I think. (glances down at notes) I don't' _actually _have much planned for this, so I'll wing it. What was your most embarrassing moment?

**Aria: **Probably when my mom got that text that I _meant _to send to Ezra and then she was convinced for, like, a week that I was dating Caleb.

**Ezra: **Wait… What?

**Caleb: **Yeah… What?

**Aria: **It was a long time ago!

**Hanna: **I'd say the moment I realized that my best friend tried to run me over with a car.

**Emily: **Basically every second Ali was alive.

**Spencer: **That once I only got a 99 on my Algebra test.

**Emma: **Really? REALLY? Okay, next question. So, you guys lie a lot. (room mutters in assent) How do you feel when you realize that someone close to you lied?

**Hanna: **Like she should be thrown in a mental hospital. (smirks) And it worked!

**Mona: **Don't be _too _sure.

**Hanna: **Oh my God, you can _talk?_

**Mona: **I don't really _like _to, but she (glares at Emma) forced me to come here and answer questions.

**Emma: **Guilty as charged.

**Mona: **Anyway, I'm not, like, a _complete _basket case. I actually realize what's going on in the world around me, you know!

**Hanna: **No, I _didn't _know.

**Mona: **Yeah, I even saw you talking to that doctor.

**Hanna: **You mean Wren?

**Spencer: **Wait, you know Wren?

**Hanna: **I guess, yeah.

**Spencer: **Huh. Really is a small world.

**Emma: **Next question! How many people have each of you dated?

**Hanna: **Just Sean and Caleb.

**Aria: **Halljborn, Noel Kahn, and Ezra.

**Hanna: **What kind of a name is Halljborn?

**Aria: **Icelandic.

**Hanna: **Iceland's weird, you know that?

**Mike: **That's what I said!

**Emma: **Hmmm…You know, you two are a cute couple in the books.

**Hanna: **In the WHAT?

**Emma: **Nothing! Okay, people, continue with the question. Em and Spence, you have yet to answer.

**Emily: **For me, Ben, Paige, Samara, and (winces) Maya.

**Spencer: **And I guess that leaves me. So… let's see… there was James Conrad at tennis camp the summer after seventh grad; Andrew Campbell, who was my vice president in sophomore year; Alex at the start of last year; kind of Wren; and, of course, Toby.

**Toby: **(staring at Spencer incredulously) That many guys?

**Spencer: **Well… yeah.

**Emma: **Anyway! I have a friend who ships Wrencer over Spoby. Discuss!

**Wren: **I quite like this friend of yours!

**Toby: **Your accent seriously irritates me.

**Hanna: **I know, right? He was telling me that Mona was getting better or whatever, and I fully could not understand, like, anything he was saying.

**Wren slumps down in his seat.**

**Wren: **Is it that bad?

**Emma: **Worse. 'Kay, girls, what's your deepest, darkest secret.

**Aria: **(suspiciously) Are you A?

**Emma: **Am I wh- No1 But I _could _be… (ponders for a moment quietly) That would be fun!

**Spencer: **I don't think that we have to answer that question.

**Emma: **Fine! Next one.

**Julia: **(bursting into room) Have any of you slept with each other?

**Emma: **(mortified) Julia! You know you're not supposed to crash my interviews after that fight you got in with Lola and Sam during the last one.

**Julia: **(rolls eyes) What-EVER.

**Emma: **Yeah… anyway, people, this is Julia, my best friend. The one who ships Wrencer.

**Julia: **USED TO ship Wrencer, but that was before Em showed me the Scrabble video. Now I'm on Team Spoby! I don't actually _watch _the show, you see.

**Emma: **(nods sagely) The Scrabble always does it.

**Emily: **Is anyone else confused?

**Hanna: **I'm almost always confused, but now more so than normal. Which is really saying something!

**Emma: **I'll strive for a little clarification. You see-

**Julia: **Voldemort's A! (gasps dramatically) I know, right? Such a shocker!

**Emma: **Stop with the Harry Potter references or I'll be forced to kick you out.

**Aria: **..So, Voldemort? A? Where exactly did that come from?

**Emma: **That's an interesting story, actually!

**Spencer: **(sucks in breath) Oh, great…

**Emma: **I had seen the promo for Father Knows Best, and Toby was on that motorcycle, and, suddenly, this car came out of nowhere. It backed right over Toby, and then the camera turned dramatically to reveal Voldemort driving the car. (no one responds) What's up next? (glances at list)

**Emily: **We have class in a few minutes; we really should be going.

**Emma: **No, you don't.

**Emily: **Sorry?

**Emma: **You heard me.

**Emily: **B-but why don't we have class?

**Emma: **It has been postponed. (in a creepy voice) Until further notice.

**Hanna:** Yeah, I'm still not sure what we're doing here.

**Emma: **What are you talking about? This is totally productive. Speaking of which, now I'm going to move on to the questions my wonderful fans asked. First up, from Amanda, Jason, why are you so pretty?

**Jason: **Oh, see, that's a really complicated question. A good part of it is DNA – I'm naturally gorgeous – and another big chunk is the hair. I start out by blowdrying it, then I put some mousse in to lift my roots, and hairspray it in place. Of course, I have to get my blonde highlights touched up every month.

**Emma: **Wow. Um, thank you, Jason, for that very thorough response. Next up – and I LOVE this one! – is for Toby, Ezra, and Emily, submitted by poisonnwine, a fabulous author and reviewer. How do you feel about Team Sparia?

**Ezra: **Team _what? _

**Toby mutters it to him**

**Ezra: **Oh…

**Emily: **I think they'd be adorable together! (Toby & Ezra glare at her) I mean, if they weren't already in loving, committed relationships.

**Spencer: **And no one wants to hear _my _opinion on this?

**Aria: **Yeah, Sparia is _us, _after all!

**Emma: **(amused) Fine, then. What are your opinions on the matter?

**Toby: **Wait, I don't think we got to answer!

**Ezra: **My response? Eh, I think they would be a cute couple.

**Aria: **WHAT? Aren't you in love with me?

**Ezra: **Well, of course, but I can't say that I haven't thought about the two of you having feelings for each other before, and, well, it's pretty plausible.

**Toby: **Plausible? It would never happen!

**Spencer: **And why would anyone say that it's plausible? That's ridiculous!

**Emma: **I can't say that I haven't heard rumors about you two.

**Aria: **Rumors? About me and Spence?

**Emma: **Well, you totally would be the cutest couple on the show if you decide to hook up. (hastily) I mean, Spoby's my OTP, of course, but, come on! They would rock.

**Emily: **But wouldn't _I _be the one to get together with one of the girls, if any of us were to?

**Emma: **Don't ask me, ask the fandom. It's a powerful force. Next up is from .heart, another of my incredible reviewers. Mike, how do you feel about Aria's relationship with Ezra?

**Mike: **(chuckling) I don't know if I should be thinking about her and Fitz or her and Spencer.

**Aria: **(indignantly) Mike!

**Mike: **What? It _would_ be pretty cool.

**Aria heaves a heavy sigh**

**Emma: **Well, thank you for joining me on my first ever _PLL _interview and tune in next time for the regularly scheduled Rosewood Social Networking. Night, everyone!

**Audience claps and cheers.**

**A/N: So what do you think of the new format? Awful? Great? Should I do it again occasionally? Review and tell me!**


	21. 3x02 and 3x03

**A/N: I've been super-lazy, so sorry! But I have been avidly watching (naturally) and enjoying. This is for 3x02 and 3x03, and I hope it makes up for my absence lately. Have fun reading!**

**Emily Fields **just ran away from class like a crazy person.

**Hanna Marin **No, _A _is the crazy one to send you those teeth.

**Spencer Hastings **I'm telling you, they aren't real teeth!

**Aria Montgomery **So what _are _they?

**Spencer Hastings **I don't know, those vampire fangs you can buy at the costume store?

**Hanna Marin **Wait, that sounds like something _I _would say.

**Spencer Hastings **Ugh, you're right. Fine, they were real!

**Emily Fields **!

**Aria Montgomery **Seriously, though, you should call Ezra.

**Emily Fields **Aria. We've been in his _apartment. _You told Hanna to get up from the bed because it's "sacred ground!"

**Ezra Fitz **Wait, Aria, _what _did you say?

**Aria Montgomery **…Oops.

**Hanna Marin **So why would she even want to teach at Rosewood High? Wouldn't she rather be, like, where your dad is?

**Aria Montgomery **Hanna!

**Hanna Marin **Oh, sorry…

**Spencer Hastings **Garrett won't tell me _anything._

**Emily Fields **So there's nothing you can get out of him?

**Spencer Hastings **Not unless I agree to get my mom to be his lawyer, and we KNOW that that's never going to happen.

**Emily Fields **Didn't he say that he knew who dug up Ali's grave?

**Spencer Hastings **That's what he said, but he could have been lying.

**Aria Montgomery **Whoever dug up her grave is the one who had access to that earring, so I'm betting that's the new A.

**Spencer Hastings **But we don't KNOW who dug up the grave, that's the problem!

**Emily Fields **If I could just remember…

**Aria Montgomery **Don't pressure yourself, Em. If you do, you might never remember.

**Spencer Hastings Toby Cavanaugh **So… um, do you want to meet up later?

**Toby Cavanaugh **Yeah, maybe somewhere that _isn't _your house would be good.

**Spencer Hastings **Smart boy.

**Hanna Marin **and **Wren Kingston **are now friends.

**Hanna Marin **WHY won't she talk? I'm getting really sick of this.

**Wren Kingston **She'll talk when she's ready, I'm sure. Ambiguous loss is a difficult thing to go through, but it's not forever.

**Caleb Rivers **Freaking ambiguous loss…

**Hanna Marin **Omigod she TALKED! SHE TALKED!

**Aria Montgomery **Well, what did she say?

**Hanna Marin **She said, "They're getting them again, aren't you?"

**Spencer Hastings **The texts?

**Hanna Marin **Yup.

**Emily Fields **just bombed her test…

**Aria Montgomery **What? I thought Ezra was helping you!

**Emily Fields **He did help, he really did, but I had a flashback. Jenna was driving the car, I know!

**Hanna Marin **Em, Jenna's blind. I don't think she could be driving the car, even if she DID want to dig up the grave.

**Spencer Hastings **…I'm not so sure about that.

**Aria Montgomery **What do you mean, you're not so sure?

**Spencer Hastings **I _mean _that Toby found eyedrops in her bathroom.

**Hanna Marin **Yeah, so?

**Spencer Hastings **SO, she's actually using them – like, now! She wouldn't be if her eyes didn't work.

**Emily Fields **Jenna's not blind, then?

**Spencer Hastings **Well, I can't figure out any other explanations! That surgery has to have worked.

**Aria Montgomery **Bathroom. NOW. We need to discuss this.

**Hanna Marin **…Oh, my GOD!

**Emily Fields **But why would she be faking it for that long?

**Spencer Hastings** So she could get away with more! Just think, no one would suspect her of digging up that grave if she couldn't see!

•••

**Aria Montgomery **is sooo excited to be spending time with the girl who pretends not to be blind to dig up graves!

**Emily Fields **But she can't be dangerous when she's playing the recorder, right?

**Spencer Hastings **It's the flute.

**Emily Fields **They're all woodwinds.

**Aria Montgomery **Be quiet, you two!

**Spencer Hastings **We are being quiet. Posting is a silent endeavor.

**Aria Montgomery **Well… stop being brilliant!

**Spencer Hastings **Oh, come on, you love me and my brilliance.

**Aria Montgomery **…Yeah, you're right.

**Caleb Rivers Hanna Marin **Okay, so _what _was that with the trash can on fire?

**Hanna Marin **It was Lucas; he's an arsonous now!

**Caleb Rivers **Arsonist, Han. He's an arsonist.

**Hanna Marin **You're sweet.

**Emily Fields **What should I do about this test?

**Aria Montgomery **Just talk to my mom about it.

**Emily Fields **Won't that seem just a little suspicious?

**Aria Montgomery **It would be less suspicious than not doing _anything _about an unfair score.

**Emily Fields **Fine, I'll talk to her.

**Lucas Gottesman **has a new fascination with icebergs. And not shaving.

**Spencer Hastings Melissa Hastings **So you're going to sit around like none of this matters.

**Melissa Hastings **Maybe it _doesn't _matter, Spence. Maybe in two months they'll have arrested someone else for Alison's murder.

**Spencer Hastings **No, they won't, because Garrett's guilty!

**Melissa Hastings **A year ago, you were saying the same thing about Toby!

**Toby Cavanaugh **Yeah, what was up with that, anyway?

**Spencer Hastings** …

**Aria Montgomery Emily Fields **I just don't see why my mother would lie for you.

**Emily Fields **Because she feels sorry for me – _everyone _in this town feels sorry for me.

**Aria Montgomery **Okay, you have a point…

**Jenna Marshall **has taken up baking!

**Hanna Marin **Yeah, because a "blind" girl baking isn't creepy at all…

**Aria Montgomery **Those cookies were really good, actually.

**Hanna Marin **So now you're eating her _cookies?_

**Aria Montgomery **Han, you know that I've never been able to say no to snickerdoodles. It's a weakness that I've always suffered from.

**Ezra Fitz Aria Montgomery **So your mom really might get fired?

**Aria Montgomery **If she did what she's accused of, I don't see why not.

**Ezra Fitz **Hm…

**Hanna Marin **Mona jus scared the hell out of me.

**Spencer Hastings **Why? What did she do this time?

**Hanna Marin **She was being NICE.

**Spencer Hastings **Ooh, material for a horror movie!

**Hanna Marin **And she kept talking about water, and boulevards… I'm serious, Spence, it was creepy.

**Ezra Fitz **thought _he _was the only English teacher who could hang out at The Brew.

**Ella Montgomery **Ha.

**Caleb Rivers Hanna Marin **_Why _would you lie to me like that?

**Hanna Marin **Well, I couldn't exactly tell you where I was going!

**Caleb Rivers **You shouldn't have lied. _Even _under the circumstances.

**Hanna Marin **I'm sorry…

**Aria Montgomery **We _need _to figure out where she's going.

**Hanna Marin **Stakeout, today, after-school, outside her house. You in?

**Aria Montgomery **I'm in.

**Ella Montgomery **The awkward moment when you're actually getting along with your daughter's illegal boyfriend.

**Ezra Fitz **likes this.

**Caleb Rivers **…Yeah, that was freaky. And I am NOT a lousy kisser!

**Spencer Hastings **So should we really not tell?

**Emily Fields **She kind of has a point…

**Aria Montgomery **Yeah, we _are _the reason we went blind in the first place.

**Hanna Marin **Fine. We'll keep quiet. For _now. _

**A **is back in town, bitches! And a little buzzed. Hehe.

**A/N: Thanks for reading, and please leave a review!**


	22. 3x04

**A/N: And I'm back! As you might have guessed, this chapter takes place during 3x04, **_**Birds of a Feather. **_**Personally, I thought that the episode was good, but I thought that promos gave too much away (namely, Hanna and Caleb breaking up and Melissa being the Black Swan). Speaking of Haleb, I was sobbing! It was very reminiscent of Spoby breaking up last season to me, and that was just too painful. :'(**

**In other news, I've received a number of PMs about another story on this site – **_**Pretty Little Facebook. **_**The author did issue an apology for the similarities between our stories, and that satisfied me. I'm not exactly happy about there being a story like this out there, but I'm not too upset about it either. They're sufficiently different, and that's good enough for me. Thank you to everyone who messaged me about that; it's really good to know that I have so many supportive fans out there. **

**Hanna Marin **Did anyone else think that Jason was being a little… _intense _at the Grille?

**Aria Montgomery **I love your ability to dramatically understate things.

**Hanna Marin **Thank you!

**Spencer Hastings **This isn't a joke, guys. If A reveals what _really _happened that night, we could be in A LOT of trouble.

**Emily Fields **How do you know that? Even we're not sure what happened that night.

**Aria Montgomery **Spence is right, though… if A calls Jason, there's no way that we wouldn't go to jail for something.

**Emily Fields **Yeah, and I'm pretty sure that Jason wouldn't stop at having us arrested.

**Spencer Hastings **Hey! That's my brother…. Oh, you're right.

**Hanna Marin **Unless…

**Emily Fields **Unless what?

**Hanna Marin **Aria, you should totally kiss him again! That way we won't get arrested, because we'll be on Jason's good side, and I won't spend the rest of my life eating full-fat prison food.

**Aria Montgomery **Along with your ability to dramatically understate things, your unintentional narcissism is also moving.

**Aria Montgomery **Also, NO!

**Byron Montgomery **and **Meredith Sorenson **are in a relationship.

**Aria Montgomery **Oh, come ON!

**Hanna Marin **is furious with **Lucas Gottesman.**

**Emily Fields **and **Nathan St. Germain **are now friends.

**Nathan St. Germain **So can we meet up soon?

**Emily Fields **Definitely… just not when I'm baking gluten-free biscotti.

**Hanna Marin Caleb Rivers **Just stay out of my problems, okay?

**Caleb Rivers **That's like asking me to stay out of your life. I'm not going to do it!

**Aria Montgomery **You need to tell him, Han.

**Hanna Marin **Fine, I'll tell him, but you need to tell your mom that you're trying to fix her up with guys who bear closer resemblances to fruit than humans.

**Aria Montgomery **Yeah, but _that _would mean telling her about Meredith.

**Hanna Marin **You're going to have to tell her…

**Aria Montgomery **Okay, but I'm leaving out the "Hot Mama" part.

**Hanna Marin **WHY? That was a stroke of genius!

**Spencer Hastings Jason DiLaurentis **So you really think that my mom has an agenda?

**Jason DiLaurentis **There's no way she _doesn't _have an agenda.

**Spencer Hastings **Well, how am I supposed to find out?

**Jason DiLaurentis **Not my problem.

**Spencer Hastings Aria Montgomery **You know, maybe Hanna's right… her plan could help us a LOT.

**Aria Montgomery **NO.

**Hanna Marin Wren Kingston **Please please _please _can I see her?

**Wren Kingston **No.

**Hanna Marin **Not even if I ask _really _nicely?

**Wren Kingston **No.

**Hanna Marin **Ugh. You know, I have a much lower tolerance from you when I can't actually _hear _you say things in that accent.

**Emily Fields Spencer Hastings **Are you _sure _this is a good plan – sneaking into Melissa's apartment and everything?

**Spencer Hastings **I don't see how else we're going to do it.

**Hanna Marin **is currently ransacking an apartment.

**Aria Montgomery **Han! Get off of FB and start helping us!

**Hanna Marin **Hey, you just logged on, too!

**Aria Montgomery **That's beside the point.

**Hanna Marin **Omigod, her shoes are FABULOUS!

**Emily Fields **Seriously?

**Hanna Marin **just posted a new photo.

**Melissa Hastings **Wait, how do you have a picture of _my _lighted shoe display on your wall…?

**Hanna Marin **That's beside the point.

**Aria Montgomery **Stop using my line!

**Hanna Marin **Sorry…

**Emily Fields **It's HER. Melissa was the Black Swan!

**Spencer Hastings **Are you _sure?_

**Aria Montgomery **Positive.

**Spencer Hastings **Okay, guys. I talked to Melissa… it's not what it looks like.

**Hanna Marin **So she _isn't _A?

**Spencer Hastings **Definitely not.

**Hanna Marin **Okay, so I'm going to go ask her how she stays such a perfect size 2.

**Aria Montgomery **Hanna!

**Hanna Marin **What? I've been wondering about it ever since the masquerade ball and now I have a chance to actually ask her in person. The Black Swan is my hero!

**Caleb Rivers **is no longer in a relationship with **Hanna Marin.**

**A **likes this.

**Aria Montgomery **What happened, Han?

**Hanna Marin **Can you just come over here?

**Aria Montgomery **Sure. I'll be there in a few minutes.

**Hanna Marin **Did you tell your mom about your dad?

**Aria Montgomery **It didn't go as planned.

**Hanna Marin **Really?

**Aria Montgomery **She already knew.

**Hanna Marin **Did you tell her about Hot Mama?

**Aria Montgomery **Yeah, she knew about that, too.

**Hanna Marin **Wow. She's good!

**Jason DiLaurentis **just gave $50,000 away.

**A **And now I'm just a little richer…

**A/N: What is ABCFam thinking, making us wait 2 weeks between episodes? I mean, sure, it's Indep. Day and all, but still! This week I had **_**no **_**new TV shows to watch – shudder – and I've been pining for PLL like crazy. Also Bunheads – that's one of my new favorites.**

**As always, reviews are much appreciated, so please leave one! Also, I'm officially taking requests for episodes again, because I've ran out and would really like to start updating this more frequently, because writing RSN is always a lot of fun. **


	23. 2x07

**A/N: Sorry I didn't get this uploaded sooner; my computer was spazzing out on me. This one is set during 2x07, **_**Surface Tension. **_**Enjoy!**

**Hanna Marin Emily Fields **Yay! We're going to be, like, official roommates!

**Emily Fields **Sounds like fun. Just don't blast your music _too _loud, okay?

**Ashley Marin **Yeah, I've been trying to get her not to do that for years. It doesn't work.

**Hanna Marin** But, seriously, if you're going to cook us breakfast, can you _only _use egg whites and make sure that everything is _always _non-fat?

**Ashley Marin **Hanna!

**Hanna Marin **What?

**Ashley Marin **Show a little gratitude.

**Hanna Marin **Oh, yeah, thanks, Em, for making us a full-fat breakfast. My thighs _really _appreciate that.

**Ashley Marin **Ugh…

**Ella Montgomery Aria Montgomery **Isn't this dinner going to be so much fun, sweetie?

**Aria Montgomery **Yeah, fun. It definitely sounds _fun._

**Spencer Hastings Peter Hastings **Toby can handle it all, Dad. He's _more _than competent.

**Aria Montgomery Ezra Fitz **Can you _please_ not accept this crazy invitation of my dad's?

**Ezra Fitz **Well, what will it look like if I _don't _take it?

**Aria Montgomery **That you actually have a life and that you have better things to do than accept a last-minute dinner invitation from a colleague of yours?

**Ezra Fitz **Thing is, I _don't _have a life. I'm dating a high school student and my current passion in life is reading _Pride & Prejudice._

**Aria Montgomery **You make a valid point…

**Spencer Hastings **I _love _reading your conversations on here! They're too amusing.

**Aria Montgomery **Shut up, Spence.

**Spencer Hastings **Aw… I just made popcorn!

**Mike Montgomery **Stupid family dinner…

**Aria Montgomery **likes this.

**Byron Montgomery **Mike, you need

**Byron Montgomery **to be a

**Byron Montgomery **part of

**Byron Montgomery **family activities.

**Mike Montgomery **Yeah, and you need to learn how the Internet works. Doesn't sound like it's going to happen, does it?

**Hanna Marin Caleb Rivers **This business of yours is _seriously _dangerous.

**Caleb Rivers **I can handle it.

**Hanna Marin **Yeah, whatever.

**Aria Montgomery **Oh, wow, Jason's coming to dinner, too! Doesn't this just sound like the best evening ever! Yay for family get-togethers!

**Spencer Hastings **Do I detect a hint of sarcasm?

**Aria Montgomery **Oh, thank God, I thought it wasn't evident enough.

**Spencer Hastings **Your excessive use of exclamation points was a dead giveaway.

**Emily Fields **HANNA!

**Hanna Marin **What?

**Emily Fields **Stop singing!

**Hanna Marin **Why do you have to shout? All-caps is basically shouting, you know.

**Emily Fields **Because you can't hear me when I'm _actually _shouting thanks to your music… or is it artillery fire?

**Hanna Marin **Fine, I'll quiet down…

**Spencer Hastings Garrett Reynolds **You really think that Emily scared that guy?

**Garrett Reynolds **Of course.

**Spencer Hastings **Sweet, quiet Emily Fields, who cried for an hour after I stomped on a spider?

**Garrett Reynolds **People change.

**Spencer Hastings **Yeah, I'm starting to think so.

**Ella Montgomery Ashley Marin **Something is up with those girls, I'm sure of it.

**Ashley Marin **They're hiding something, but the question is why.

**Hanna Marin **Mooooom! I told you, parents should _not _be using Facebook.

**Aria Montgomery **likes this.

**Toby Cavanaugh Spencer Hastings **I'm telling you, he just _snatched _it from me.

**Spencer Hastings **Yeah, but why?

**Toby Cavanaugh **If I had any idea, I'd be telling you.

**Aria Montgomery **And the dinner party has commenced.

**Mike Montgomery **Sucker.

**Aria Montgomery **Where ARE you?

**Mike Montgomery **Does that matter?

**Aria Montgomery **Um, yeah! Dad's going to be furious if you don't show up.

**Mike Montgomery **Let him be.

**Spencer Hastings **Aria, you HAVE to be careful around Jason.

**Aria Montgomery **I really don't think that Jason did anything wrong…

**Spencer Hastings **So why wouldn't he remember anything from the night Ali died?

**Aria Montgomery **I have to go attend to the Dinner Party of Doom.

**Hanna Marin Caleb Rivers **I still don't think that what you're doing is safe.

**Caleb Rivers **And I still think that you don't know what you're talking about.

**Hanna Marin **You're still treading on thin ice, you know.

**Caleb Rivers **Fine…

**Aria Montgomery **And the party just got WORSE – as if that was even possible.

**Emily Fields **What happened this time?

**Aria Montgomery **It's complicated.

**Jason DiLaurentis **So he _swore _that he wouldn't do this again?

**Aria Montgomery **Yeah, and he seemed sincere.

**Jason DiLaurentis **Sometimes lies can pass even the most scrutinizing of tests.

**Ezra Fitz **Hey, um - _I'm _the English teacher in the room, right? If anyone's going to be using big words, it should be me.

**Toby Cavanaugh Spencer Hastings **So he was _burning _it?

**Spencer Hastings **And he had this crazy look in his eyes, like he _needed _to destroy it. I swear, I'm going to go insane if I keep living in this house.

**Toby Cavanaugh **Aw. Anything I can do to help?

**Spencer Hastings **Can I stay at your abs for a little while?

**Toby Cavanaugh **…I'm willing to take that sacrifice.

**Spencer Hastings **Good.

**Emily Fields **And I thought that _my _family was a little strange.

**Hanna Marin **Why was HE going into HER bedroom?

**Emily Fields **…I think I have a pretty good idea.

**Hanna Marin **You know that's not what I mean!

**Emily Fields **Whatever.

**A/N: I've been thinking about it, and I decided that Chapter 30 will be another interview, so it's time to start submitting those questions again! Also, naturally, I'm taking chapter requests as well, so both of those would be wonderful in reviews. **


	24. 2x10

**A/N: As per two different requests (from foreverezria and Fifi226), this one is set during 2x10, **_**Touched by an 'A'-ngel, **_**and, per my own "write-as-you-go-and-don't-plan-anything-out" technique, it's very geared towards Team Sparia. Also in this chapter, I'm inserting line breaks between conversations, which I think makes the story easier to read.  
**

**Emily Fields Aria Montgomery **So why the hell did Jason kiss you?

**Aria Montgomery **How am I supposed to know?

**Spencer Hastings **You ARE totally adorable; I guess I could see where he's coming from.

**Jason DiLaurentis **THANK YOU. At least _someone _agrees with me.

**Aria Montgomery **I'm not really sure where this conversation is going.

**Emily Fields **Yeah, plus I'M supposed to be the gay one here, remember, Spence?

**Spencer Hastings **I'm just saying what we were all thinking…

* * *

**Emily Fields **Oh, God, now A's in my breakfast.

* * *

**Hanna Marin Ashley Marin **So how was it that you had this massage gift certificate for so long and never thought to offer it to me?

**Ashley Marin **It never came to mind.

**Hanna Marin **Like I don't need it! I'm totally just as stressed as Emily.

**Ashley Marin **…You're taking six classes, and two of those are study halls.

**Hanna Marin **So you see where I'm coming from! My schedule is seriously overloaded.

**Ashley Marin **Just be sure to go to the college fair today, okay? I think that you'll really need to find the options that would work for you.

* * *

**Aria Montgomery Jason DiLaurentis **Wait – so _Ali _took those photos of me?

**Jason DiLaurentis **Yeah.

**Aria Montgomery **But why?

**Jason DiLaurentis **I don't know; she might have pulled a Spencer and gotten a total crush on you or something.

**Spencer Hastings **"Pulled a Spencer?" Huh. I kind of like that… But I don't have a crush on Aria!

**Spencer Hastings **Do I?

**Hanna Marin, Emily Fields, Jason DiLaurentis, **and **Toby Cavanaugh **like this.

**Spencer Hastings **TOBY!

**Toby Cavanaugh **The evidence is all there, Spence…

**Spencer Hastings **Hm.

* * *

**Aria Montgomery **The Hollis English department appears to be _extremely _hands-on…

**Jackie Molina **We pride ourselves on that.

**Aria Montgomery **Oh, shut up, bitch.

* * *

**Hanna Marin **is SO not happy to be trying on the bridesmaid's dress…

**Mona Vanderwaal **At least you have me!

**Hanna Marin **Thank God for that.

* * *

**Toby Cavanaugh Spencer Hastings **Wasn't that thing in Ian's yearbook weird?

**Spencer Hastings **I know, right? He had more extracurriculars than I do!

**Toby Cavanaugh **That wasn't exactly what I was talking about.

**Spencer Hastings **I mean, who is HE to be preppier than I am? I'm the QUEEN of preppy! He can't be in more clubs!

**Toby Cavanaugh **…And I see this is a pointless endeavor. I'm going to go take my shirt off now.

**Spencer Hastings **I mean, it's one thing to do more extracurriculars than me, but he just HAD to be captain of the lacrosse team, didn't he?

**Toby Cavanaugh **Really? Nothing? I'm standing right next to you and displaying my abs VERY prominently!

**Spencer Hastings **Do you think I could file a complaint…?

* * *

**Aria Montgomery Jason DiLaurentis **Good job ruining college fair day… well, you and Jackie.

**Jason DiLaurentis **Wait, what did I do? And who's Jackie?

**Jackie Molina **I think that she's talking about me.

**Aria Montgomery **Oh, who cares about you?

* * *

**Hanna Marin** Great, I'm wearing a brown paper bag AND having lunch with Kiss-Ass Kate.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Yeah, and I'm fully not going to make you say something awful about her right in front of a microphone.

**Hanna Marin **Um… what?

**Mona Vanderwaal **Did I say something?

* * *

**Emily Fields **Hey, I found the one spa where you can update your status DURING the massage – this rocks!

* * *

**Spencer Hastings **And he knew Latin too. Latin is _my _thing. How dare he take that from me!

* * *

**Aria Montgomery **just checked in at **The Apple Rose Grille. **

**Jason DiLaurentis **just checked in at **The Apple Rose Grille. **

**Hanna Marin **Since when is 'x' silent? Stupid Margox.

**Mona Vanderwaal **I believe that's Margaux.

**Hanna Marin **Like I _care!_

**Mona Vanderwaal **You should at least _try _with them, though.

**Hanna Marin **Great, and now we're in the stupid woods. There's not even wi-fi here!

**Spencer Hastings **…Then how are you posting?

**Hanna Marin **I don't know!

**Spencer Hastings **Ooh, it's probably 4G.

**Hanna Marin **I DON'T KNOW!

**Spencer Hastings **Geez. Okay, I'm logging off now; I have to go talk to Ezra.

**Hanna Marin **Wait, like Aria's Ezra?

**Spencer Hastings **How many Ezras are there?

**Hanna Marin **I don't know… it always kind of seemed like a girl's name to me.

**Ezra Fitz **For the last time, I DO NOT have a girl's name!

**Spencer Hastings **Hmmm…

**Ezra Fitz **And if anything, you have a guy's name.

**Spencer Hastings **How dare you! Oh, wait, I'm in your car now. We can have this argument in person.

* * *

**Emily Fields **Did A go to massage therapy school or something? They're _really _good…

* * *

**Ella Montgomery **Just for the record, I do NOT ship Spezra.

* * *

**Hanna Marin Kate Randall **I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't thinking when I said that.

* * *

**Spencer Hastings Veronica Hastings **NEVER let Jenna into the house again if I don't have two trained guard dogs, a pistol, a team of bodyguards, and a Kevlar vest, okay?

* * *

**Jason DiLaurentis Ezra Fitz **Jerk.

* * *

**Hanna Marin **seriously doesn't want to be broken like a horse!

**Caleb Rivers **Wait, was that a pick-up line?

**Hanna Marin **It could be.

**Caleb Rivers **Excellent.

* * *

**Spencer Hastings Aria Montgomery **Wonderful. Just _wonderful. _So you just let your mom say that I was hooking up with Ezra?

**Toby Cavanaugh **Wait, what?

**Spencer Hastings **It's complicated.

* * *

**A **is now in therapy.

**A/N: As always, please leave a review, and, of course, if you have any chapters you want me to cover or questions for the interview, please submit those as well. **


	25. 3x05

**A/N: And I'm back! Sorry that I didn't get a new chapter up yesterday; it was super-hectic. As you might have already guessed, this chapter takes place during last night's episode, 3x05, **_**That Girl Is Poison. **_**I hope you enjoy it!**

**Spencer Hastings **is currently dreaming up non-traditional pizza toppings.

**Aria Montgomery **_And _unnatural ones.

**Spencer Hastings **Like what? I was talking about a pizza with peanut butter cups on top… yum.

**Emily Fields **I think that Aria was talking about your Caleb quip.

**Spencer Hastings **Ohhhh.

**Hanna Marin **WHAT? What about Caleb?

**Emily Fields **So what was up with that ambulance?

**Spencer Hastings **It appeared that Mrs. Reynolds had entered a coma, usually brought on by-

**Aria Montgomery **Stop. Just stop.

* * *

**Aria Montgomery **Okay, Lucas has reached a new height of creepy….

**Emily Fields **What is it this time?

**Aria Montgomery **He was pounding on a door and asking for his stuff.

**Spencer Hastings **Yeah, that's totally scary….

**Aria Montgomery **I'm serious! The facial hair makes it all the more intimidating.

**Emily Fields **It just sounds like he went through a really bad breakup.

**Spencer Hastings **With what, hygiene? Aria's right, boy needs to learn how to use a razor and fast.

* * *

**Paige McCullers Emily Fields **I'm excited for the movie.

**Emily Fields **likes this.

* * *

**Hanna Marin Caleb Rivers **I've sent you, like, a million texts, and apparently you haven't gotten them, so I thought I'd try Facebook instead.

**Hanna Marin **Hello?

**Hanna Marin **Hell-oooooooooo?

**Hanna Marin **Damn.

* * *

**Spencer Hastings **Okay, so now Garrett's being released from jail _and _throwing a birthday party? Those two have to be connected.

**Aria Montgomery **…Why?

**Spencer Hastings **Because, if two things happen at the same time, they're obviously related!

**Aria Montgomery **Huh.

* * *

**Emily Fields **Great, and now I have to work tomorrow night.

**Hanna Marin **At least you're getting out of that creepy party, right?

**Emily Fields **No, I'll be working _at _the party.

**Hanna Marin **Oh. Poor you!

* * *

**Aria Montgomery Spencer Hastings **I still can't _believe _that you said that!

**Spencer Hastings **Sometimes words just come pouring out of me… And talking about Fitz's nuts was no exception.

**Ezra Fitz **Wait, what now?

* * *

**Jenna Marshall **Ooh, cutie at the Brew! I know he's cute because I can see now. I couldn't see before. Just to clear up any confusion.

* * *

**Emily Fields **Lucas HAS to be connected somehow - he just seems so suspicious.

**Spencer Hastings **The whole photography thing is _more _than a little freaky.

**Aria Montgomery **I'll see what I can find out.

* * *

**Hanna Marin **Ew, my mother is flirting!

**Aria Montgomery **Han, just last week you set up an online dating profile for _my _mother.

**Hanna Marin **So?

* * *

**Aria Montgomery **Ooh, pretty camera!

**Ezra Fitz **likes this.

* * *

**Spencer Hastings **How does Wilden get to be _everywhere?_

**Hanna Marin Emily Fields **Why would you throw that jacket away? It's totally cute!

**Emily Fields **I told you, I'm not the one who did that.

**Hanna Marin **That doesn't matter! What matters is that it's in this season and someone decided to disregard that fact, which is a _serious _offense.

* * *

**Paige McCullers **And the flask might just come in handy tonight…

* * *

**Aria Montgomery** might have landed a job!

* * *

**Spencer Hastings Toby Cavanaugh **I seriously love you, you know that?

**Toby Cavanaugh **likes this.

**Toby Cavanaugh **I know. But I like to hear you say it anyway.

* * *

**Paige McCullers **Ow.

* * *

**Aria Montgomery **Oh, no, Laurel's equipment is wet! I wonder how that happened…

* * *

**Ezra Fitz **just landed a new job.

**Aria Montgomery **likes this.

**Aria Montgomery **Does that mean we have to say goodbye to Larry the Furry Lime?

**Ezra Fitz **Alas, yes.

**Aria Montgomery **Aw… I always wanted to get a pet when I was younger, but my parents constantly refused. Larry always made up for that.

**Byron Montgomery **pets

**Byron Montgomery **take up

**Byron Montgomery **all the

**Byron Montgomery **space and they

**Byron Montgomery **make messes!

**Aria Montgomery **A lot of kids are upset when their parents start using the Internet socially… If only they had my dad as a father.

**Ezra Fitz **So. Larry the Lime. You okay if I throw him away?

**Aria Montgomery **I just feel like I need to say goodbye, you know?

**Ezra Fitz **Not exactly, no.

**Spencer Hastings **You let her get too emotionally attached to a citrus fruit and now she's desperate to keep it. Also, you should ask her for your nuts back.

**Ezra Fitz **Excuse me?

* * *

**Lucas Gottesman **is currently lurking in the shadows around the photography studio.

**Aria Montgomery **Yeah, thanks a lot for the heads-up, creeper.

* * *

**Spencer Hastings **April Rose has the proof.

**Hanna Marin **April Rose… wasn't she a character on _Glee?_

**Emily Fields **No, Han, that was April _Rhodes._

**Hanna Marin **Oh, okay.

**Spencer Hastings **Is nobody going to ask me what my post means?

**Hanna Marin **Probably not, no.

* * *

**Aria Montgomery Lucas Gottesman **Do you have trouble sleeping?

**Lucas Gottesman **Why?

**Aria Montgomery **Just curious..

* * *

**A **I wish everyone could organize their purses as well as I do mine. Sheesh.

* * *

**A/N: So what did you guys think of the episode? To be honest, I didn't really like it that much. I feel like they were building up to a huge reveal, but then it just fizzled out. Spoby was hot (hot hot hot HOT), though, and there were some pretty great lines.**

**I'm instating a new policy: if you don't review, I will send Mona to flip a table at you and then scream in what I only hope is a monkey impersonation. And, of course, if you have an episode that you would like to be covered or a question for the upcoming interview, please include that.**

**Also one more announcement: I did tell a few of you that I'd be doing crazy AU couples for this chapter, and I was going to, but then I was inspired and had an even better idea – so right now, I'm undergoing the laborious task of planning out a new fic.**

**Well, thank you very much for reading, and remember never to friend A if you get a request from him/her/them. **


	26. 1x10

**A/N: I know, two chapters in one day! I'm in "lock myself in my bedroom and force myself to write up a storm" mode today.**

**Ahem.**

**Anyway, this chapter is during 1x10, **_**Keep Your Friends Close, **_**as per a request from ezrialover, also known as the episode where poor Toby got arrested. :(**

**Ahem again.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

**Mona Vanderwaal **And here's the day you've all been waiting for - I'm handing out invitations to my semiannual birthday party!

**Spencer Hastings **Um, Mona? A birthday is a once-a-year event.

**Mona Vanderwaal **Maybe for average people like you, Spencer, but there are some of us who really need to shine more often than the others.

**Spencer Hastings **Hanna, WHAT do you see in her?

* * *

**Ashley Marin Hanna Marin **No ditching school, alright?

**Mona Vanderwaal **Of course not, Mrs. M! Hanna and I won't do _anything _wrong. ;)

**Ashley Marin **Mona, I can see the winking face.

**Mona Vanderwaal **No, I'm serious! ;)

**Hanna Marin **Mona. Just give up.

* * *

**Aria Montgomery **just _loves _doing laundry!

* * *

**Melissa Hastings Spencer Hastings **So _why _wouldn't you tell me that Ian's back?

**Spencer Hastings **You're the one who wouldn't tell my if my hair were on fire.

**A Strange Audacity **You're about two seasons too early on that one, Spence.

* * *

**Aria Montgomery **and **Noel Kahn **are in a relationship?

**Emily Fields **Why the question mark?

**Aria Montgomery **Oh, I'm not sure if it's a relationship or not. The question mark is Facebook's latest option.

**Noel Kahn **It's clever; I like it.

**Aria Montgomery **I like _you._

**Ezra Fitz **Blech.

* * *

**Hanna Marin **Great, now I don't get a shopping date.

**Agent Cooper **Ms. Marin, I would advise you to stay off of social networking during a police questioning.

**Hanna Marin **Sor-ry!

* * *

**Esther Potter **just had some yummy butterscotch!

**Ashley Marin **Which happened to be my last, thank you very much.

* * *

**Aria Montgomery **Stupid B-26.

**Ezra Fitz **?

**Aria Montgomery **Oh, stop Facebook-stalking me.

**Ezra Fitz **You're the one who sent ME a friend request.

**Aria Montgomery **Oops.

* * *

**Hanna Marin **Hell-oooo! I practically came up with the _idea _for Camp Mona. How can I be disinvited?

**Mona Vanderwaal **Well, after you acted like a stuck-up biotch, totally disregarded me, and then acted like we were still BFF? Hmm, I wonder where _that _went wrong.

**Hanna Marin **You're painfully truthful.

* * *

**Melissa Hastings **and **Ian Thomas **are in a relationship.

**Aria Montgomery **No question mark there.

* * *

**Spencer Hastings **Oh, thank GOD Toby was arrested. What a freak! I can never imagine trusting someone like him.

**Hanna Marin, Emily Fields **and **Aria Montgomery **like this.

* * *

**Emily Fields **My dad is home!

**Maya St. Germain **Yeah, great…

* * *

**Aria Montgomery Ella Montgomery **We really do need to get together more often.

**Ella Montgomery **Absolutely!

**Aria Montgomery **And I'm fully not saying that so that I can convince you to come over and do our laundry.

* * *

**Pam Fields **is disgusted by unnatural behavior. On a _photo booth _strip!

* * *

**Aria Montgomery Spencer Hastings** What do you think about our new Camp Mona sweatshirts?

**Spencer Hastings **They're pretty cute. I mean, you look cute in yours.

**Aria Montgomery **Thanks! They're definitely a little… _subtle._

**Spencer Hastings **Good word choice.

* * *

**Emily Fields **Reminder to self: Check the backseat before driving away.

**Toby Cavanaugh **likes this.

* * *

**Spencer Hastings **Why would _Jenna _have a bracelet? We were supposed to be the only ones with bracelets. How dare she give one to someone else!

* * *

**Emily Fields **has huge hair.

**Aria Montgomery **And it's hilarious to look at!

**Emily Fields **You have it, too.

**Aria Montgomery **Yeah… I wanted to forget about that part.

* * *

**Ashley Marin **is having the scariest drive of my life.

* * *

**Hanna Marin **Him… and her? God, Aria is a _lot _more ballsy than I thought.

* * *

**Spencer Hastings **Alison + Ian… Alison + Ian… but what could it mean?

**Emily Fields **I'm going to take a wild guess and say that she was in love with him or something.

**Spencer Hastings **Nah, that's just too obvious.

* * *

**Toby Cavanaugh **just got arrested. _Great._

**Emily Fields **I'm not the one who turned you in.

**Toby Cavanaugh **Sure.

* * *

**Hanna Marin **I figured it out! I FIGURED IT OUT!

**Spencer Hastings **Figured what out?

**Hanna Marin **Come to the parking lot, NOW!

* * *

**Hanna Marin **Ow.

* * *

**A **just had a lovely evening of framing people, attempting homicide, and, of course, going glamping.

* * *

**A/N: Yes, I know the spiel gets old, but, according to the math I did, I've gotten fewer than 1% of reviews for all of my hits – sad, right? So now you guys can help me improve that statistic by leaving a review!**


	27. 1x22

**A/N: I came to two stunning realizations between the time I wrote last chapter and this one - first of all, I have _never _actually been on Facebook. Secondly, I haven't done a chapter on the seriously amazing Season 1 finale, _For Whom The Bell Tolls, _so that's what this one is.  
**

**Spencer Hastings **is currently engrossed in a movie marathon. Unfortunately, the camera work can only be considered shoddy and the image is grainy.

**Emily Fields **Really, Spence? _Really? _That's all you have to say about this?

**Spencer Hastings **What? I thought that it was my place as our resident film expert to critique this one.

* * *

**Aria Montgomery Ezra Fitz **Cops? Cops? _What cops?_

**Hanna Marin **Somehow I get the feeling that cops are involved.

**Aria Montgomery **Not funny, Han!

**Hanna Marin **Sorry; I always find that humor lightens the mood.

* * *

**Ashley Marin Hanna Marin **So, Caleb _never _gave you the letter? Are you sure?

**Hanna Marin **There was no letter, Mom. He left me.

* * *

**Melissa Hastings **Yay for planning baby christenings!

**Ian Thomas **likes this.

**Spencer Hastings **Your chipper attitude never ceases to nauseate me.

* * *

**Emily Fields **!

**Samara Cook **What is it?

**Emily Fields **I'm moving… to Texas.

**Samara Cook **Oh. Huh.

**Emily Fields **Yeah – huh.

* * *

**Ezra Fitz Aria Montgomery **OW!

**Aria Montgomery **You're welcome.

**Ezra Fitz **For the PUNCH?

**Aria Montgomery **Yup.

**Ezra Fitz **I try hard not to, but I still seriously love you.

**Aria Montgomery **likes this

* * *

**Mona Vanderwaal Hanna Marin **Trust me, that freak never gave me a letter.

**Hanna Marin **Aw….

**Mona Vanderwaal **Why are you so upset about this?

**Hanna Marin **I'm in love with him, you know!

**Mona Vanderwaal **Bad choice, Han. Why don't you fall in love with someone who's rich, and popular… and maybe knows what a haircut is?

**Hanna Marin **You're so not helping!

* * *

**Hanna Marin Lucas Gottesman **Can we _please _hang out later? I need someone to spend quality time with.

**Lucas Gottesman **I thought that my brooding look earlier was enough. I don't _want _to hang out with you!

**Hanna Marin **Damn.

* * *

**Spencer Hastings **Well, that confrontation didn't go as planned.

**Aria Montgomery **Do confrontations _ever _go as planned?

**Spencer Hastings **…Fair enough.

* * *

**Emily Fields Hanna Marin **Ten _thousand _dollars? Do you really think that it's going to work?

**Hanna Marin **It better. I need compensation for those Prada heels I bought last week – they were fully a size to small, but that snobby saleswoman didn't let me return them!

**Emily Fields **You are SO missing the point right now.

**Hanna Marin **I seem to be really good at that.

* * *

**Caleb Rivers **can't believe that his letter ended up in the trash.

**Hanna Marin **So there WAS a letter!

**Mona Vanderwaal **Probably not the one that he was talking about.

* * *

**Jenna Marshall Ian Thomas **So you'll take care of the footage?

**Ian Thomas **I said that I would, and I will.

**Jenna Marshall **Fine.

* * *

**Garrett Reynolds **is looking for people under 30 to join my family's movie night!

**Garrett Reynolds **Please?

**Garrett Reynolds **Okay, I give up.

* * *

**Spencer Hastings Toby Cavanaugh **Great, I just wasted studying time with a nap.

**Toby Cavanaugh **And are you mad about that?

**Spencer Hastings **Not even a little bit.

**Toby Cavanaugh **likes this.

* * *

**Jenna Marshall **and **Garrett Reynolds **are now in a very complicated, clandestine relationship.

**Ian Thomas **…If it's so secretive, why post it on the Internet?

**Garrett Reynolds **It's complicated.

* * *

**Aria Montgomery **Jackie? At my house? _Really? _I so did not need this!

**Ezra Fitz **On the bright side, at least I got to see your room!

**Aria Montgomery **Jerk.

**Ezra Fitz **What did I say?

* * *

**Spencer Hastings **And now I'm Melissa's personal chauffer… great. Just great.

* * *

**Hanna Marin **Time to delete the contact…

* * *

**Lucas Gottesman **and **Caleb Rivers **are now friends.

**Hanna Marin **Didn't see that one coming!

* * *

**Spencer Hastings **Obviously my chauffeuring skills aren't very good.

* * *

**Emily Fields **Why wasn't Ian the one who came?

**Aria Montgomery **I'm guessing he didn't want to show his face there.

**Emily Fields **So he sent the messenger?

**Aria Montgomery **That seems like the logical explanation.

**Hanna Marin **No – if we want logical, we need Spencer. By the way, where _is _Spencer?

* * *

**Spencer Hastings **Help!

**Ian Thomas **No one can help you know…

**Spencer Hastings **Oh, stop talking like such a creeper.

**Ian Thomas **But I _am _a creeper – judging by the fact that I'm chasing you in the rafters of a church.

**Spencer Hastings **So get off of the Internet and start chasing me again!

**Ian Thomas **…That's a good idea.

**Spencer Hastings **I have lots.

* * *

**Hanna Marin **Okay, bodies do not just get up and _disappear._

**Aria Montgomery **Which is why this is totally weird!

**Emily Fields **It's not like the police are ever going to believe us.

**Spencer Hastings **Hello! I just had a near-death experience over here! I could use a little comforting!

* * *

**A/N: Did I nail it or fail it? Tell me in your review!**


	28. 3x06 and 3x07

**A/N: Yeah, it's been a while. But, seriously, guys, I have a good excuse! (or fifty…) Let's see: school supply shopping. Trying to get a six-year-old hooked on the Betsy-Tacy series. Going on a breakfast picnic. Finding my love for The Sims 3 again. Forgetting to make my bed. **

**Really, it's been quite strenuous! Also, there's my attempt to write the next Great American Novel, but I tend to have really great ideas when it comes to that… and then never write them.**

**Anyway, my goal for the rest of the summer (which lasts just over two more weeks for me… grr) is to keep a better updating schedule, which I think I can pull off. This chapter is set during 3x06 and 3x07 (**_**The Remains of the A **_**and **_**Crazy), **_**which I thought were both great episodes, although I do hate seeing Spoby in trouble.**

**Enjoy!**

**Hanna Marin **Seriously. Her heart had to stop beating _then. _Couldn't it have freaked out some other time?

**Spencer Hastings **Hanna! The poor woman could have been killed.

**Hanna Marin **Hell-oooo! How am _I _not getting any sympathy here? That was freakishly scary.

**Spencer Hastings **But on a happier note, she'll be fine.

**Hanna Marin **At least SHE will be. I'll always have that creepy memory.

**Darren Wilden **So you _were _in Hilary Reynolds's room?

**Hanna Marin **Ew, no, you freak! What are you doing on my Facebook page?

**Darren Wilden **Oh, I was bored, so I started stalking teenage girls' pages. Hey, will you be my friend? I'm running dangerously low.

**Spencer Hastings **Wonder why…

**Hanna Marin **No way!

**Darren Wilden **Guess I'll just go ask your mom…

**Hanna Marin **Ugh.

**Aria Montgomery Ezra Fitz **You know that I don't like to be photographed before nine in the morning.

**Ezra Fitz **Yeah, _now _I know. For the record, I was a WAY better model than you were.

**Spencer Hastings **Okay, why? WHY? Mom, Dad, can you _please _try not to come home _right _when Toby and I are together?

**Toby Cavanaugh **likes this.

**Emily Fields **Time to go to Riverside & State Street…

**Peter Hastings **is busy stalking two of his children. Which isn't weird at all.

**Hanna Marin **Okay, so now that weird old pastor thinks that I have nothing better to do than go to some stupid church party on a Saturday night?

**Emily Fields **Do you have any plans, then?

**Hanna Marin **Well, _no, _but that's not the point.

**Aria Montgomery **All that money and he made _me _pay for coffee the other day? Jerk…

**Spencer Hastings **Mmmmmmm. Cheese fries.

**Hanna Marin **likes this.

**Hanna Marin **And now my mom's going out with Just Assume I Have No Life Guy. Great. Oh, and Spence? I think my lies are getting worse…

**Spencer Hastings **Why? What happened?

**Hanna Marin **I kind of told my mother that Toby was my date tonight.

**Spencer Hastings **Toby? As in my boyfriend, Toby?

**Toby Cavanaugh **Toby as in _me, _Toby?

**Hanna Marin **Yes, why all the confusion?

**Spencer Hastings **Because that really is SERIOUSLY the worst lie any of us have ever come up with. And we practically lie for a living.

**Hanna Marin **Whatever. I just seriously need a date.

**Spencer Hastings **Fine, you can take Toby.

**Hanna Marin **Thank you!

**Toby Cavanaugh **…Is anyone going to ask _my _opinion in all of this?

**Hanna Marin **No, probably not.

**Emily Fields **These flashbacks are getting kind of old.

**Jason DiLaurentis **just forked over four hundred dollars for an anklet.

**Spencer Hastings **I'm pretty sure that Hanna's paid more for one.

**Hanna Marin **Very true, very true.

**Ashley Marin **A pastor? Really, a _pastor? _And nobody thought that they might mention this to me?

**Toby Cavanaugh **is ticked off.

**Emily Fields **Holden? I fully did _not _see that coming.

**Aria Montgomery **Holden as in my-fake-boyfriend-last-year-who-you-all-thought-was-gay-but-was-actually-a-Korean-karate-master-who-beat-up-Noel-Kahn Holden?

**Emily Fields **…Yeah, pretty much.

**Aria Montgomery **Oh. Tell him I said hi!

**Hanna Marin **This whole being-framed-for-murder thing is kind of scary.

**Toby Cavanaugh, Spencer Hastings, Jason DiLaurentis, **and **Garrett Reynolds **like this.

**Aria Montgomery **He still should have paid for coffee.

**Spencer Hastings **It depends – did he buy you a scone?

**Aria Montgomery **No! I had to pay for that, too.

**Spencer Hastings **_Quelle horreur!_

**Spencer Hastings **Not the killer? COME ON!

**A **Brain freeze.

•••

**Hanna Marin **O Negative is really popular, right?

**Spencer Hastings **Around 8% of Caucasians have it (as estimated by the Red Cross), so, no.

**Hanna Marin **Stop being smart, Spencer.

**CeCe Drake **has updated her location to: **Rosewood, Pennsylvania. **

**Aria Montgomery **She looks like Ali. She _totally _looks like Ali.

**Emily Fields **and **Spencer Hastings **like this.

**Hanna Marin **Wait, _who _looks like Ali?

**Aria Montgomery **This old friend of hers who we met at The Brew today.

**Hanna Marin **Wait, you got coffee together without me?

**Aria Montgomery **I swear, Han, it was only a one-time thing. We'll never do it again – it was a momentary indiscretion to have coffee without you.

**Hanna Marin **Oh, don't you DARE quote Kristen Stewart to me!

**Toby Cavanaugh Spencer Hastings **You need to stop lying to me.

**Spencer Hastings **Trust me, you know everything that I do.

**Toby Cavanaugh **I don't think that's the truth.

**Spencer Hastings **I'll explain.

**Spencer Hastings **…Eventually.

**Nathan St. Germain **and **Jenna Marshall **are in a relationship.

**Emily Fields **This is creepy. _Seriously _creepy.

**Hanna Marin **A owes me some answers. And a Band-Aid.

**Ella Montgomery **just had a fairly boring date – with a pastor.

**Ashley Marin **Just curious – did his name happen to be Ted?

**Ella Montgomery **Yeah, how did you know?

**Ashley Marin **Damn, that man gets around.

**Aria Montgomery **is getting the chills just being in this place.

**Hanna Marin **Believe me, I know.

**Nathan St. Germain Emily Fields **Thanks for telling me about Jenna; I'm glad that I got to know her better.

**Emily Fields **I don't think that you really understood what I was saying…

**Hanna Marin **Well, Mr. DiLaurentis's eyebrows are as intense as ever.

**Kenneth DiLaurentis **I resent that, young lady! My eyebrows are a highly developed form of self-expression.

**Emily Fields **and **CeCe Drake **are now friends.

**CeCe Drake **You're welcome, by the way.

**Emily Fields **I seriously can't believe that you did that.

**CeCe Drake **Oh, get over it, sweetie. Just get a little bolder and life'll be _way _simpler.

**Zack Brewster Ella Montgomery **So will I see you again?

**Ella Montgomery **Most definitely.

**Aria Montgomery **Wow. Just _wow._

**Hanna Marin **I think that the phrase you're looking for is "She Lives Under Trees." Possibly even "Who Has One Red Earring."

**Aria Montgomery **…What?

**Hanna Marin **Never mind; I'll explain later.

**Spencer Hastings **just did something totally irresponsible and reckless – feels like a normal Monday night.

**Hanna Marin **How are we going to get into this website?

**Emily Fields **Well, it's not like we know any skilled computer hackers.

**Hanna Marin **Yeah, you're right. We'll just have to figure it out…

**Emily Fields **How did she _not _pick up on that?

**Aria Montgomery **We'll work on it.

**A **Recording devices inside doll heads really are the future of surveillance.

**A/N: Well, that's that. You should leave a review. You **_**know **_**that you want to leave a review. Just type a few little words into that form below…**

**And, of course, include any episode requests you have (because I happen to be out) and any questions you have for the interview that I'll be conducting in two chapters. Additionally, I hope to upload 3x08 (**_**Stolen Kisses) **_**on Wednesday – I'm seriously excited for that episode. I saw a Spencer/Caleb sneak peek… let's just say that Spaleb climbed up my list of favorite ships a little bit.**


	29. 3x08

**A/N: And welcome back to the one and only story in which you get to now read about Hanna's Great Sushi Campaign of '09. Confused? Read on and you'll find out! **

**This is for 3x08, **_**Stolen Kisses, **_**which everyone is complaining about because there was "too much romance," but romance is basically what I live for… so, yeah. Enjoy!**

**Caleb Rivers **has updated his location to: Rosewood, Pennsylvania.

**Hanna Marin **likes this.

**Spencer Hastings **just borrowed _Computer Hacking for Morons _from the library. It isn't very helpful.

**Hanna Marin **Wait, they HAVE a book for that?

**Rosewood Public Library **Oh, yes! We offer a wide variety of both fiction and non-fiction titles. Come and visit us at our new location on Second Street!

**Hanna Marin **Okay, I never said that I _cared _about your books!

**Aria Montgomery **My school? MY SCHOOL!

**Spencer Hastings **What's on your brain, my fun-sized little friend?

**Aria Montgomery **I'll tell you later – I'm going over to Fitz's for the morning.

**Spencer Hastings **Have you passed on the message to him that I think his baby pictures are _very _cute?

**Aria Montgomery **Oh, ha-ha.

**Aria Montgomery **And I'm petite, not fun-sized!

**Emily Fields **is currently in the middle of nowhere with a guy who's talking about murder. That's not scary at all!

**Dianne Fitzgerald **is currently visiting the… er, _quaint_, town of Rosewood.

**Ezra Fitz **Mother, I can tell even through your posts that you're turning your nose up.

**Dianne Fitzgerald **And this is a problem because…?

**Aria Montgomery **Hmm… Ezra _Hem. _It has a nice ring to it, I guess.

**Hanna Marin **Oh, angry Toby! Good luck, Spence!

**Spencer Hastings **Thanks…

**Toby Cavanaugh **Spencer! Get off of your phone and start talking to me!

**Spencer Hastings **Sorry…

**Emily Fields Paige McCullers **I seriously need to talk to you about my flask.

**Paige McCullers **I'm sure that there's really nothing to talk about. But, if you really do want to discuss it, let's go for a run after school, and hopefully you'll be too out of breath by that point to say anything.

**Emily Fields** See you then!

**Hanna Marin **Fuck Saratoga.

**Hanna Marin **Now _that _was a badly timed coffee run.

**Caleb Rivers **and **Wren Kingston **like this.

**Spencer Hastings **is finding a real-life computer hacker to be much more informative than the Moron's Guide.

**Aria Montgomery Ezra Fitz **Her diamonds are really pretty and all, but do you know if your mom has anything in the way of feather earrings that I could borrow?

**Ezra Fitz **I'll be sure to ask her.

**Aria Montgomery **Thanks!

**Ezra Fitz **That was sarcasm.

**Aria Montgomery **Oh. So she _doesn't _have any feather earrings?

**Spencer Hastings Hanna Marin **I got him to agree to help!

**Hanna Marin **Yay!

**Spencer Hastings **…The only problem is that A sent me another text.

**Hanna Marin **Yeah?

**Spencer Hastings **Apparently, you're "almost gone."

**Hanna Marin **I heard that if you say things in a positive way, they sound a lot better…

**Spencer Hastings **Yeah, see, that's just not going to work for this.

**Spencer Hastings Aria Montgomery **How dare you accuse my wardrobe of being even the slightest bit frumpy!

**Aria Montgomery **_Spence. _I saw Mrs. Kemp – you know, that crazy old Latin teacher? – in the same khaki skirt as you last week.

**Spencer Hastings **Well, half the time you dress like you want your shoes to be seen from outer space!

**Aria Montgomery **And that's a problem because…?

**Emily Fields Paige McCullers **You weren't kidding about running me out of breath!

**Paige McCullers **I _thought _that it would work…

**Aria Montgomery Spencer Hastings **Is it just me, or does the name "Bart Comstock" sound the slightest bit fake?

**Spencer Hastings **It reminds me of roast beef.

**Aria Montgomery **?

**Spencer Hastings **Goldmine Sandwiches has a roast beef sandwich that they call The Comstock.

**Aria Montgomery **Oh, I guess that makes sense. I just think that it sounds like a fake name.

**Spencer Hastings **Fair enough.

**Emily Fields Paige McCullers **Why wouldn't you _tell _me about that?

**Paige McCullers **If I told you, it would just sound stupid!

**Emily Fields **Well, that's probably true, but it's not the point!

**Hanna Marin Wren Kingston **Okay, here's something you should know about me: The only time I have _ever _given a presentation was when the Rosewood High cafeteria was about to stop serving sushi and I protested.

**Wren Kingston **Did it work?

**Hanna Marin **Well… no.

**Aria Montgomery **Bart Comstock ISN'T a fake name! Dude is REAL!

**Spencer Hastings **Oh, that's awesome!

**Spencer Hastings **But now I want roast beef…

**Caleb Rivers **just successfully hacked into a website.

**Spencer Hastings **likes this.

**Aria Montgomery **is just at an exhibit that FREAKING BELONGS TO MY BOYFRIEND'S FAMILY!

**Emily Fields **So when you're dreaming, it's actually kind of your subconscious talking to you… huh.

**Aria Montgomery **wasn't really looking forward to Meet The Parents Day at first, but this is even worse than I thought.

**Hanna Marin **just gave her worst speech since the Great Sushi Campaign of '09.

**Wren Kingston **I thought that was the only other speech…?

**Hanna Marin **Precisely.

**Paige McCullers **and **Emily Fields **are in a relationship.

**Hanna Marin, Aria Montgomery **and **Spencer Hastings **like this.

**Aria Montgomery **just had a sweet father-daughter bonding moment.

**Hanna Marin **Why did I kiss him?

**Caleb Rivers **Kiss who?

**Hanna Marin **No one!

**A **Ah…. Minty fresh.

**A/N: As always, please leave a review. Next chapter is the interview, so submit any last-minute questions you have now for me to ask them!**


	30. The Interview: Part 2

**Emma: **So, I promised my wonderful readers another interview to celebrate 30 chapters – and 200 interviews, love you guys! – and here we are. I've sat down with all of the characters, and I have a good list of questions to make them squirm uncomfortably and to make everyone reading this laugh hysterically. And this first one goes out to Aria and Ezra!

**Aria: **Oh, God…

**Emma:** Did you guys make a sex tape? If so, can the anon who submitted this question have it? Oh, that one time in 2x24 should have been longer!

**Byron: **(face goes purple and vein in neck pops out) S-sex tape? My daughter would never - !

**Aria: **(looks down sheepishly) It was only once, I swear!

**Ezra: **(goes pale) Really, Aria? _Really?_

**Byron: **(splutters, eyes bug out)

**Emma: **…I think that he might be having a heart attack.

**Ezra: **Huh. Well, I'm sure he'll be missed. Just not by me.

**Emma: **Nah, we need him for more drama in the show. (snaps fingers, and paramedics rush in and revive Byron) Alright, everything's better now. And we have a stream of ah-mazing questions from AJMcGough. First up is for Ezra again! Why did you decide to stand up to Byron instead of cowering into your little bunny hold of an apartment and never coming out until Spring showed?

**Ezra: **…My apartment isn't a little bunny hole!

**Aria: **I think that what my ever-witty boyfriend _meant _to say was that he cares enough about our relationship to confront my father.

**Ezra: **I mean, it's a little small, but, hello, I'm on the whole starving-artist's salary here!

**Emma: **Please. We all know about your wads of cash in the sock drawer. Okay, Aria: Do you think you'll gag if Meredith gets pregnant by Daddy?

**Aria: **(starts dry heaving)

**Byron: **Oh, honey, don't worry about that. I _always _use a condom.

**Aria: **Too. Much. Freaking. Information.

**Emma: **For Ella: Why did you REALLY divorce Byron?

**Ella: **Well, that's not really-

**Emma: **I think I know: Chad doesn't look as gorgeous as his brother Rob.

**Ella: **What?

**Emma: **Nothing.

**Ella: **There's really not one reason why I divorced him – I mean, other than him sleeping with that college whore-

**Byron: **Oh, that reminds me of something! Ella, Meredith got a job in the English department of Rosewood High.

**Ella: **There's another thing – he's insensitive.

**Emma: **Fair enough. Emily: Are you going to have a thing for Nate? That'd be like, what? Four lovers in three seasons?

**Emily: **Ew, Nate? No! I'm a lesbian, remember? Then again, he _is _pretty cute…

**Paige:** Ahem.

**Emily: **Yeah?

**Paige: **You're supposed to be dating me, remember?

**Emily: **Oh, yeah… I forgot.

**Emma: **She's a flighty one. Now for Spencer! Why would you let your mother ruin Spoby sex? I would've been like, "Ride me, Toby! Ride me hard!"

**Spencer:** To be fair, it's not _just _my mother – so far, her, my dad, Noel Kahn, Caleb, Ella, and Wren have all ruined it.

**Emma: **So why don't you go somewhere a little more private?

**Toby: **I know, right? She _has _a bedroom.

**Spencer: **But maybe doing it in public places gets me a little turned on.

**Aria: **Yeah, I remember finding you two going horizontal in Spencer's car, _after _she offered to drive me home.

**Spencer: **Hey, I invited you to join in! You're the one who turned me down – you thought it would, like, ruin our friendship or something.

**Emma: **(laughing to the point that she can barely breathe) I'm, uh, going to stop this conversation before it gets any weirder.

**Aria: **(under breath) _Thank _you!

**Emma: **So, onto Hanna: Why can't you just tell Caleb what's going on? I mean, he's not going to tell anyone. From what I can tell, he has no friends except you an the girls.

**Caleb: **HEY! …Wait, you might have a point.

**Hanna: **The whole me-not-telling-him thing has to do with a certain car accident and the fact that I don't want to see him murdered, which A would fully do.

**Caleb: **Wait, A's back?

**Hanna: **Um, totally not. You heard me wrong.

**Emma: **And, one last question from AJMcGough, for Byron: Why the hell can't you get off Facebook and take a typing class?

**Byron: **(huffs indignantly) My typing skills are quite adept, thank you very much.

**Aria: **Dad, she kind of seriously has a point.

**Byron: **Hmph.

**Emma: **Now, from Annonymus to all of the boyfriends (and, yes, Caleb and Toby, I'm including you, because even though Haleb's over and I have no idea where Spoby stands right now, you're so obviously meant to be with the girls): If you had to date another pretty little liar, who would it be?

**Caleb: **Do I have to?

**Emma: **Yes.

**Caleb: **Easy, then: Spencer.

**Toby: **Hey!

**Spencer: **Aw, that's so sweet!

**Hanna: **No, Toby was definitely right when he said, _Hey!_

**Emma: **Alright, then, Toby, who would you pick?

**Toby: **I love Spencer.

**Emma: **Doesn't matter.

**Toby: **Aria's pretty cute…

**Spencer: **So she _should _have joined in when we were in my car!

**Emma: **And that just leaves Ezra.

**Ezra: **It's kind of awkward, considering the fact that all of them used to be my students.

**Emma: **Well, so did your girlfriend.

**Ezra: **Fair point… Um, I think that I'd go with Spencer, too.

**Spencer: **So I win!

**Emma: **Now, for a couple questions from moda, the first one being for Jason: Are you still a virgin?

**Jason: **What kind of a question is that?

**Emma: **One that you have to answer.

**CeCe: **Come on. He dated me. (glances down at herself) Come on.

**Emma: **Guess that answers that. Now for Jason again: Do you still have feelings for Aria?

**Jason: **Um – well, yeah, kind of.

**Ezra: **Ass.

**Emma: **And, for Jason again: Is Ezra attractive to you?

**Jason: **I helped Spencer try to solve a murder. Why am I being punished?

**Emma: **Answer the question. Do you find Ezra attractive?

**Jason: **He _does _have really pretty bone structure…

**Emma: **And now for two questions from dim for Hanna and Aria: Are you free to get pregnant because you had sex?

**Hanna: **I'd rather not…

**Aria: **Ditto.

**Emma: **This one is from Prettylittlefan for Wren: Do you even have eyes for anyone older than 18?

**Wren: **Well, there was that one time… I was engaged to Melissa.

**Emma: **But then you kissed her 16-year-old sister.

**Wren: **Yeah, you have a point.

**Emma: **And now, our last couple of questions are from spobyloverforlife. Hanna: How do you feel about kissing Wren, having just gone through a break-up with Caleb?

**Caleb:** You kissed _that _guy?

**Hanna: **I got caught up in the moment, and, I mean, come on, Caleb. He has a British accent.

**Caleb: **And he just admitted that he has a thing for underage girls.

**Hanna: **It was one little peck, okay? I don't have feelings for him or anything.

**Wren: **Damn.

**Emma: **To wrap up the interview, I have one last question for Mona: What's with your strange obsession with dolls?

**Mona: **They're really pretty, okay? And I love brushing their hair.

**Emma: **…Interesting. Well, thanks to everyone for reading. I hope you enjoyed it, and thank you for an awesome 30 chapters!


	31. 3x09

**A/N: And welcome back to another chapter of _Rosewood Social Networking _in its usual format. This chapter is set during last night's CRAZY episode, 3x09, _The Kahn Game._****Enjoy!**

* * *

**Spencer Hastings **is NOT prepared for a life of being average!

**Aria Montgomery **Don't worry, Spence, you can apply in December just like the rest of the world.

**Spencer Hastings **Just like the rest of the world? I don't want to be a part of the stupid rest of the world!

**Aria Montgomery **_I'm _a part of that rest of the world.

**Spencer Hastings **Oh, and I love you, sweetie, but you're probably going to end up at Hollis. I need _Ivy League. _

**Aria Montgomery **With that resounding vote of confidence from my best friend, I'm leaving now.

**Spencer Hastings **Aw, don't leave! I need you to come tonight.

**Aria Montgomery **And I need to attempt to patch up my relationship. Sorry, Spence.

**Spencer Hastings **Ugh…

* * *

**Hanna Marin **Lesson 1 in Talking To Your Ex: Don't start the conversation by asking where _another girl _is!

**Hanna Marin **And, yeah, Caleb, that means you.

* * *

**Hanna Marin Spencer Hastings **So you really think that I shouldn't go?

**Spencer Hastings **It's too dangerous.

**Hanna Marin **But what if I'm putting Caleb in bigger danger by _not _going?

**Spencer Hastings **Caleb's a big boy, Hanna. He can handle this himself.

**Hanna Marin **Okay, but could I just swing by the Grille for some sweet potato fries?

**Spencer Hastings **Only if you bring some to my house later.

**Hanna Marin **Deal.

* * *

**Aria Montgomery **Ezra's brother is cute. And age-appropriate…

**Wesley Fitzgerald **likes this.

**Ezra Fitz **Aria!

**Aria Montgomery **Sorry… I just couldn't help it. I can even forgive his eighties haircut.

**Wesley Fitzgerald **Hey, my hair is timeless!

* * *

**Emily Fields Hanna Marin **You seriously shouldn't just lie to me like that.

**Hanna Marin **Emily. How many times have you lied to us before?

**Emily Fields **Okay, you make a fair point, but… but…

**Hanna Marin **Yeah, we'll try not to lie again, but seriously, we basically lie for a living!

**Emily Fields **We are pretty great at the whole lying thing, aren't we?

**Hanna Marin **Masters.

* * *

**Aria Montgomery Spencer Hastings **Wait, so did you just take the razor to his sideburns?

**Spencer Hastings **I was a fearless little kid.

**Aria Montgomery **And he didn't even wake up?

**Spencer Hastings **He started snoring and I almost screamed, but he never even opened his eyes.

**Aria Montgomery **Why have I not met your grandmother yet? I feel like I can get along with her really well.

**Spencer Hastings **My grandma died five years ago…

**Aria Montgomery **Oh, that makes sense, then.

* * *

**Aria Montgomery **A Kahn party? _Really?_

**Emily Fields **Wait, who's at a Kahn party?

**Aria Montgomery **Me and Spence, why?

**Emily Fields **Just, you know, memories.

**Hanna Marin **_I _remember a Kahn party from last year… that was when I crashed Sean's car and then I had to get that stupid job at the dentist.

**Caleb Rivers **Wait, who's Sean?

**Hanna Marin **A jerk whose car I rightfully crashed. No big deal.

**Aria Montgomery **Okay, can we focus on the fact that I'm at Noel Kahn's party and the guy despises me?

**Hanna Marin **Yeah, we've moved on from talking about you.

**Aria Montgomery **That's sad.

* * *

**Spencer Hastings **Aria. We have the _eye stamp. _

**Aria Montgomery **Yeah, more than a little freaky.

**Spencer Hastings **Should we tell Em?

**Emily Fields **Tell me what?

**Spencer Hastings **Never mind…

* * *

**Aria Montgomery **That qualifies as the worst game of truth ever.

**Spencer Hastings **I didn't think you had played it before.

**Aria Montgomery **Whatever! Noel Kahn's a douche.

**Spencer Hastings **And now we're lapsing into state-the-obvious territory.

* * *

**Spencer Hastings** Time for _my _round of truth. Bitch is going _down._

* * *

**Hanna Marin **Lesson 2 in Talking To Your Ex: Kidnapping generally starts the conversation on a bad foot.

**Caleb Rivers **Look, I'm sorry, okay? I just needed to talk to you.

**Hanna Marin **Evidently.

* * *

**Spencer Hastings **Okay, bitch didn't exactly go down…

* * *

**Aria Montgomery **Pregnant. He got her _pregnant?_

**Wesley Fitzgerald **Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that part…

* * *

**Hanna Marin **may or may not be in a relationship with **Caleb Rivers. **It's confusing.

**Caleb Rivers **likes this.

* * *

**Ashley Marin **really doesn't want to spend her date night on the phone with Wilden.

* * *

**Pastor Ted **is busy making the rounds of all the single, middle-aged women in Rosewood.

* * *

**Spencer Hastings Toby Cavanaugh **Pick up your phone! Or at least log on to FB! Some form of communication would be wonderful!

* * *

**A **wishes that this lady would cool it with the cat obsession.

* * *

**A/N: What did you think? Tell me in your review!  
**


	32. The End

**A/N: It has recently been brought to my attention that the "script format" that ****_RSN _****follows violates the FF rules, and I sincerely apologize. I didn't intend to do anything wrong, and I regret my mistake.**

**That being said, I've tried to revise the story so that it follows the rules, but there's just no way to do it and still have the comedic punch. Therefore, ****_Rosewood Social Networking _****has ended its time on this site.**

**I really can't begin to say how hard it is for me to do this - you all, my readers, have been beyond amazing. This story is seriously what got me through last year's final exams without ripping my hair out. Even after a terrible day, a terrible week, I could always rely on new reviews to put a smile on my face and get me through whatever had gotten me down.**

**It's not the end of ****_RSN _****altogether, though - some of you already know that I'm a part of a (fairly) new Tumblr blog, .com, and that should soon have a link to my own personal Tumblr, where I'm going to continue to post chapters of ****_RSN, _****but only on that site.**

**This isn't the end of me on FF, though - I still have two stories currently going (and one on hiatus), plus I have a series of one-shots planned out that I think are going to be awesome. So, keep checking my profile, and, who knows, maybe I'll do a little humor again soon. ;)**

**I don't want to break any MORE site rules - I'm about the last person in the world who ****_ever _****gets on the wrong side of the law... or, you know, the site content guidelines - so this chapter can't ONLY be an Author's Note. The next few paragraphs are pretty pointless, but hopefully they'll wrap things up, at least a little bit. **

****Spencer, Aria, Hanna, and Emily stared at the computer screen in utter shock, all of them too horrified to speak. Hanna was clinging to Aria nervously, Aria's trembling hand, in turn, was interlocked with Spencer's, and Spencer's arm was linked to Emily's.

"What has A _done?" _Spencer spat finally, glaring at the notice that had popped up on her screen.

"I knew that A was getting a little tired of us, but this... this... it's too much," Emily muttered in agreement.

"Maybe this means that it's over," Hanna suggested, trying to bring a little optimism into the situation.

Aria's head shook vehemently. "A _defriended _us, Hanna. That can only mean war."

**A/N: Yes, it's true.**

**A is no longer friends with Hanna Marin, Emily Fields, Spencer Hastings, and Aria Montgomery.**

**What does this mean?**

**Dangerous things.**

**I love you all more than you know, and I cherish every moment that I spent writing this story (most of those moments ended up being at about two in the morning... apparently, that's when my crazy side came out). So, bye for now, but keep checking Tumblr and my profile for more work. **

**~A Strange Audacity**


	33. Actually The End

Hi, everyone! I know, I know, I've been so incredibly lazy lately, and I really can't apologize enough for that. My e-mail account got hacked and I had to check all of my accounts on other sites because I'm an idiot and use the same password for everything... but whatever! I'm not here to make excuses!

I've been kind of avoiding posting this, because I thought that if I did, the FanFiction Nazis (a.k.a. the Critics United, who really do a great job but I can't help but despise them a little :P) would jump on my back. But I decided that I can handle a little of that.

SO, I know that I promised you guys Tumblr updates, and, again, I've been awful about that - BUT I hope I can make up for it. My Tumblr URL is rosewoodsocialnetworking, and that's where I'm going to be posting all of my old chapters and then new ones through 3x13 and any other episodes you guys request.

Much love,

Emma


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